Quote of the Day: Vegetables

My mate just passed his NVQ in vegetarianism.

He’s quiche stage one.

I was once abducted by aliens.

They made me wash my hands, blow my nose, clean my room, and eat my vegetables…

Turns out I was on the mothership.

My local greengrocer has won a contract to supply root vegetables to the South African rugby team…

I thought ‘That’s a turnip for the Boks.’

Where does a vegetarian go on holiday?..

Quornwall

This girl came up to me today and said she recognised me from Vegetarian Club.

I was confused, I’d never met herbivore.

I’m really happy with my vegetable patch.

I haven’t wanted a vegetable in weeks…

I had to give up my vegetarian diet.

Turns out they’re a lot harder to catch than cows.

Becoming a vegetarian is a big missed steak.

A vegan said to me, people who sell meat are disgusting.

I replied people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer.

I just turned down a job delivering for my local fruit and veg shop…

They offered to pay me in vegetables, but the celery was unacceptable.

I’m fed up with vegetarians interrogating me about my eating habits…

It’s like the spinach inquisition!

I’m surrounded by pickled vegetables in jars.

It’s like Piccalilli Circus here.

Thank you for reading my writings. If you’d like to, you can buy me a coffee for just £1 and I will think of you while writing my next post! Just hit the link below…. (thanks in advance)