Joke of the Day: Hands

Why shouldn’t you shake hands with Tigger?

Because he plays with Pooh.

My Mum’s sister keeps taking the law into her own hands…

She’s a vigilauntie.

I recently went to a seance hosted by Neil Diamond…

Hands, touching hands, reaching out…

6.30 is the best time on a clock.

Hands down.

I’m glad I know sign language, it’s pretty handy.

I was once abducted by aliens.

They made me wash my hands, blow my nose, clean my room, and eat my vegetables…

Turns out I was on the mothership.

They say that being a hostage is hard and mentally draining but…

I reckon I could do it with my hands tied behind my back.

My Grandad was a bit of a hoarder.

He never liked to throw anything away.

He died in the war holding a hand grenade.

When I told my wife I had been seeing her sister you could hear a pin drop.

Then I saw the grenade in her hand!

I just sold all my glove puppets.

A collector phoned and offered me £200 to take them off my hands…

How many bones are in your hand?

About a handful.

Ticket inspectors; you’ve got to hand it to them.

Thank you for reading my writings. If you’d like to, you can buy me a coffee for just £1 and I will think of you while writing my next post! Just hit the link below…. (thanks in advance)

Published by The Sage Page


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