Never trust a man who owns more than three toasters.
One toaster? Practical.
Two? Backup in case of jam-related emergencies.
Three or more? You’re entering cult territory.
Nobody needs that much toast. Nobody should need that much toast. And if they tell you it’s for “even browning,” run. That’s how it starts—with crumbs and deceit.
The Sage recommends cautious side-eye for any individual whose kitchen glows faintly with the light of excessive appliance ownership. It’s not a breakfast—it’s a warning.
Thank you for reading my writings. If you’d like to, you can buy me a coffee for just £1 and I will think of you while writing my next post! Just hit the link below…. (thanks in advance)
The Sage Page 