“Save time watering plants — by teaching them to crawl to the sink.”
Ever the innovator, The Sage today unveils a bold new method in home horticulture: stop wasting your life lugging watering cans! His plan? Train your plants to seek hydration for themselves.
By employing a strict regime of motivational speaking, positive reinforcement, and perhaps mild shaming, your houseplants will soon learn to slither obediently toward the kitchen tap whenever they feel thirsty. “It’s all about empowerment,” The Sage explains. “If ivy can climb walls, it can find a mixer tap.”
Of course, early trials may involve slow progress, damp carpets, and traumatised visitors, but The Sage assures us it’s worth it. “The goal,” he says wisely, “is a self-sufficient ecosystem — and a very confused plumber.”
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The Sage Page 