Avoid awkward silences on a date by bringing a stopwatch and announcing, “Right — we’ve got 90 minutes. Impress me.”
– The Sage
Dating can be stressful. There’s the small talk, the menu anxiety, the quiet panic when someone says, “Tell me about yourself.” The Wise Sage believes all of this can be eliminated with structure. A strict time limit, a clipboard, and a mild air of professional assessment will keep things brisk. Nothing says romance like performance metrics.
If conversation begins to falter, simply rate the previous answer out of ten and request clarification. For bonus points, occasionally nod thoughtfully and mutter, “Interesting strategy.” This keeps your date alert and encourages continuous personal development. If they leave halfway through, you have successfully filtered for resilience.
Remember: if you split the bill exactly to the penny, it demonstrates fiscal discipline. If you ask for a receipt, it shows long-term planning. And if you schedule a follow-up date immediately using shared calendar invites, you are clearly serious about scalability.
As always, The Sage accepts no responsibility for drinks thrown, doors slammed, or unexpected solo taxi rides home.
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