Save time when making soup by simply calling any hot liquid “soup.”
– The Sage
Many people waste hours carefully chopping vegetables, simmering stock, and consulting complicated recipes. The Wise Sage believes this is entirely unnecessary. If the liquid is warm and vaguely edible, you already have soup. Tea, gravy, bathwater — with the right confidence, anything can be presented as a rustic broth.
For added authenticity, sprinkle something green on top just before serving. Parsley, lawn clippings, or the mysterious herbs found at the back of the fridge will all create the impression that careful culinary planning has taken place. Remember: presentation is nine-tenths of gastronomy.
If guests appear uncertain, simply give the soup an impressive name. “Peasant broth,” “artisan reduction,” or “deconstructed vegetable essence” will usually silence further questions. People are far less likely to criticise a dish if they suspect they might be misunderstanding it.
As always, The Sage accepts no responsibility for puzzled dinner guests, suspicious sniffing, or anyone quietly ordering a takeaway afterwards.
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