“Save time sorting laundry by washing everything on the hottest possible setting and allowing nature to decide what survives.” – The sage
Laundry can be a confusing business. Whites, colours, delicates, woollens — the modern washing machine expects you to possess the organisational skills of a museum curator. The Wise Sage recommends a simpler approach: put everything in together, turn the dial to its most aggressive setting, and let Darwinian principles take over.
If certain garments shrink dramatically, this is not a failure — it is merely your wardrobe evolving. Smaller clothes can always be passed on to younger relatives, pets, or particularly ambitious houseplants. Meanwhile, items that emerge unchanged have proven themselves worthy of continued ownership.
For extra efficiency, the Sage recommends avoiding ironing altogether by removing clothes from the washing machine slightly damp and immediately wearing them. Your body heat will complete the drying process while the natural creases develop what fashion experts call “casual character.”
As always, The Sage accepts no responsibility for pink shirts, doll-sized sweaters, or trousers that now technically qualify as shorts.
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