Ensure you never miss an important call by setting your ringtone to the most embarrassing song you can find.
The sage
Choosing a ringtone is an opportunity to express personality, taste, and a complete disregard for social dignity. The Wise Sage recommends selecting something so profoundly awkward that you are physically compelled to answer your phone immediately, if only to make it stop.
Popular choices include novelty songs, loud animal noises, or anything featuring unexpected yodelling. Ideally, your ringtone should begin loudly and without warning, causing you — and everyone nearby — to question what is happening and why.
For maximum effectiveness, keep your phone on the highest possible volume at all times. Quiet environments such as libraries, waiting rooms, or solemn occasions provide the perfect testing ground. Nothing sharpens reflexes like the sudden blast of an ill-advised ringtone echoing through a silent room.
If you find yourself becoming accustomed to the embarrassment, simply rotate your ringtone regularly to maintain peak discomfort. Remember: familiarity breeds delay.
As always, The Sage accepts no responsibility for startled strangers, social exile, or being asked to leave public spaces.
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