The Sage Page

This Day in History: September 20th

Here are 10 interesting historical events that took place on September 20th:

1519 – Ferdinand Magellan’s expedition departed from Spain on a journey that would ultimately become the first successful circumnavigation of the globe.
1854 – The Battle of Alma took place during the Crimean War, with British and French forces defeating the Russian army in the first major battle of the conflict.
1870 – Italian forces under King Victor Emmanuel II captured Rome, completing the unification of Italy and making Rome its capital.
1934 – Sophia Loren, the renowned Italian actress, was born in Rome, Italy.
1962 – James Meredith, an African American, was allowed to enroll at the University of Mississippi, marking a significant moment in the civil rights movement.
1973 – Billie Jean King defeated Bobby Riggs in the “Battle of the Sexes” tennis match, a historic moment for women’s sports and gender equality.
1977 – The first of the “Star Wars” films, later renamed “Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope,” was released in theaters.
2000 – The Sydney Olympics officially began, marking the first time the Summer Olympics were held in Australia since 1956.
2008 – Hurricane Ike made landfall on the Texas Gulf Coast, causing widespread destruction and significant flooding.
2019 – The Global Climate Strike, a worldwide protest demanding action on climate change, took place with millions of people participating in demonstrations and events in various countries.

These events cover a wide range of historical, cultural, and social significance.

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Joke of the Day: Wednesday’s wettest waterworks of windstrewn waffle …

There’s a theory that no two people see a colour the exact same way.

Does that mean that colour is…a pigment of your imagination?

Why are plants so thin?

They are light eaters.

Imagine the self-control needed to work in a bubble wrap factory…

Anger management classes…

They’re all the rage

They say that time is a great healer.

This would explain why doctor’s surgeries make you wait 3 weeks for an appointment.

Cannibals like to meat people.

Lif is too short.

Don’t be a sexist, birds hate that.

I’ve started using garlic in my magic act.

First I start by crushing it, adding basil and some pine nuts, and then I blend them together with some Parmesan and olive oil.

Then… hey… pesto!

What’s a cow eating grass?

A Lawn mooer.

Doctor, I keep thinking I’m a supermarket.

How long have you felt like this?

Ever since I was Lidl.

I’ve just been attacked a little ginger boy doing martial arts!!

It turned out to be the carroty kid.

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

What do cannibals serve at the beginning of a dinner party?

Handshakes

Thank you for reading my writings. If you’d like to, you can buy me a coffee for just £1 and I will think of you while writing my next post! Just hit the link below…. (thanks in advance)

Thought of the Day: Bagpipes

How can you tell when it’s time to tune your bagpipes?

Tuning bagpipes, like tuning any musical instrument, is an important part of maintaining their sound quality. Bagpipes consist of several components, including the chanter (melody pipe), drones (usually three), and the bag itself. Here are some tips on how to tell when it’s time to tune your bagpipes:

Listening to the Sound:
- If the pitch of your bagpipes sounds noticeably off, it’s a clear sign that tuning is needed. Trust your ears; if the music doesn’t sound harmonious, it’s time to adjust.
Drone and Chanter Balance:
- Bagpipes require a balance between the drones and chanter. If the drones are overpowering the chanter or vice versa, it’s time to make adjustments.
Temperature and Humidity Changes:
- Bagpipes can be sensitive to changes in temperature and humidity. If you move between indoor and outdoor performances or experience significant weather changes, you may need to retune the instrument.
Seasonal Adjustments:
- Depending on the season, you might need to make small adjustments. For example, cold weather can cause the pitch to drop, so you may need to slightly sharpen the chanter to compensate.
Regular Maintenance:
- Bagpipes should be checked and maintained regularly, even when they don’t seem out of tune. Regular maintenance can help prevent major tuning issues from arising.
Use of Tuning Tools:
- Tuning tools, such as a tuner or a tuning meter, can be helpful for ensuring precise tuning. Some pipers use these tools to achieve the desired pitch for each drone and the chanter.
Seeking Professional Help:
- If you’re unsure about tuning or if you’re experiencing persistent tuning problems, it’s a good idea to consult with a bagpipe instructor or a professional bagpipe technician. They can provide guidance and adjustments to ensure your instrument is in proper tune.

Remember that tuning bagpipes can be challenging, especially for beginners. It often requires practice and experience to achieve the correct pitch and harmonious sound. Additionally, different types of bagpipes may have unique tuning requirements, so it’s essential to become familiar with the specific needs of your instrument.

Alternatively, get a sensible instrument!

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This Day in History: September 19th

Here are 10 interesting historical events that took place on September 19th:

1356: The Battle of Poitiers occurred during the Hundred Years’ War, where the English, led by Edward, the Black Prince, defeated the French, capturing King John II of France.
1777: American soldiers led by Major General Benedict Arnold and Colonel Daniel Morgan successfully repelled British forces at the Battle of Freeman’s Farm during the American Revolutionary War.
1796: George Washington’s Farewell Address was published. In it, the first U.S. president advised against the dangers of political factionalism and foreign entanglements.
1881: U.S. President James A. Garfield died from gunshot wounds inflicted by Charles J. Guiteau on July 2nd. Garfield had struggled for survival for over two months.
1940: Witold Pilecki, a Polish soldier and resistance fighter, voluntarily allowed himself to be captured by the Nazis to infiltrate Auschwitz concentration camp, where he gathered crucial intelligence.
1970: The first Glastonbury Festival took place in Somerset, England, featuring a lineup of music and arts performances. It has since become one of the world’s most famous music festivals.
1985: An earthquake with a magnitude of 8.0 struck Mexico City, causing widespread devastation and loss of life. Thousands were killed, and many buildings were destroyed.
1988: The United States House of Representatives voted to impeach U.S. District Judge Alcee Hastings, making him the sixth federal judge in U.S. history to be impeached and removed from office.
1991: Ötzi the Iceman, a 5,300-year-old mummy, was discovered by hikers in the Alps on the border between Austria and Italy. His well-preserved body has provided valuable insights into prehistoric life.
2006: The Thai military staged a coup, overthrowing the government of Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra while he was attending the United Nations General Assembly in New York.

These events span a wide range of historical periods and highlight significant moments in politics, warfare, culture, and more.

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Joke of the Day: Tuesday’s taught tourniquet of tattered twine …

I bought a lettuce from a greengrocers owned by The Mamas & the Papas but it’s already gone off.

All the leaves are brown…

Just changed my Facebook name to ‘No one’ so when I see stupid posts I can click like and it will say ‘No one likes this’.

Pink Panthers to do list:

To do
To do
To do, to do, to do
To do, to doooo

The first rule of iPhone 15 owner’s club is:
Tell everybody that you’re a member.

And for our next band, would you please welcome the bailiffs.

Take it away boys.

MISSING: Black and white cat with red collar.

Very intelligent!

Mittens if you’re reading this please come home.

I can’t believe they fired me from the clock factory after all the extra hours I put in…

If I wanted to have the time of my life, I would work in a clock shop.

They’re finally making a movie called clocks.

It’s about time.

I went to a pet shop.

I said ‘Can I buy a goldfish?’

The guy said ‘Do you want an aquarium?’

I said ‘I don’t care what star sign it is’.

Some people think there are insects on the Moon.

Lunar tics.

I can count the number of times I’ve been to Chernobyl on one hand.

It’s 15.

I dig, you dig, we dig, he digs, she digs, they dig.

It’s not a beautiful poem, but it’s very deep.

I’d like to have more self-esteem, but I don’t deserve it.

I’m hoping to find a cure for my hiccups, but I’m not holding my breath.

How does a train hear another train coming?

With its engineers.

I pirated a movie last night.

Gave it 3.14 stars.

Just got back from Crete where I had a very brief visit to see the Labyrinth.

It was only a minor tour.

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Thought of the Day: Fish

Do Fish get thirsty?

Fish do not get thirsty in the same way humans or other land-dwelling animals do. Thirst is a sensation primarily related to the need for terrestrial animals to replenish water lost through various bodily functions such as respiration, perspiration, and urination. Fish, on the other hand, live in water environments where they are constantly surrounded by a medium that allows them to extract the necessary moisture they need through their gills.

Fish obtain water through osmosis, a process where water naturally moves through their gills to maintain the balance of salts and other solutes in their bodies. They excrete excess salts through specialized cells in their gills and release water as needed to maintain their internal balance.

In summary, because fish live in water and obtain the water they need through osmosis and their aquatic environment, they do not experience thirst as land-dwelling animals do. Thirst is an adaptation to life on land, while fish have evolved different mechanisms to regulate their fluid balance in their watery habitat.

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This Day in History: September 14th

Here are 10 interesting historical events that took place on September 14th:

81 AD: Domitian, the Roman Emperor, was assassinated, leading to the start of the Year of the Four Emperors.
1752: The British Empire adopted the Gregorian calendar, skipping 11 days to align with the rest of Europe. September 14th became September 2nd overnight.
1812: Napoleon Bonaparte’s Grande Armée entered Moscow, beginning the ill-fated French invasion of Russia.
1847: American forces under General Winfield Scott captured Mexico City during the Mexican-American War.
1901: U.S. President William McKinley died from gunshot wounds sustained in an assassination attempt on September 6th. Vice President Theodore Roosevelt was sworn in as the 26th President.
1940: The Blitz, a series of devastating nighttime bombings by Nazi Germany, began in London during World War II.
1959: The Soviet space probe Luna 2 became the first human-made object to reach the moon, crashing into its surface.
1960: OPEC (Organization of the Petroleum Exporting Countries) was founded in Baghdad, Iraq.
1982: Princess Grace of Monaco, formerly known as American actress Grace Kelly, died from injuries sustained in a car accident.
2000: The Olympic Games in Sydney, Australia, opened, marking the start of the XXVII Olympiad.

These events span a wide range of historical periods and have had significant impacts on the course of history.

Thank you for reading my writings. If you’d like to, you can buy me a coffee for just £1 and I will think of you while writing my next post! Just hit the link below…. (thanks in advance)

Joke of the Day: Thursday’s thin throng of three thirsty thoughtless therapists …

I can’t get enough minimalism

I was born to be a pessimist.

My blood type is B Negative.

I met my girlfriend at an arthritis support group…you know when two people just click?

6:30 is definitely the best time on a clock…

Hands down.

The doctor gave me 4 months to live, so I shot him.

The judge gave me 20 years.

I saw a guy in the pub last night carrying 12 pints of lager.

I thought, that guy can really hold his drink.

What do you call Bears with no ears?

What color socks do bears wear?

They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet!

My mate hates it when I put his chocolate bars in other chocolate bar wrappers.

It gets his Snickers in a Twix.

How old is All-Bran?

I’m just looking for the rough age.

My son’s pet frog broke his leg yesterday

He was very unhoppy…

Accidentally locked myself in a glass cabinet in a museum.

I ended up making an exhibition of myself…

Somebody keeps sending me flowers with the heads cut off.

I think I’m being stalked.

WANTED: Someone to brush their teeth with me.

Because 9/10 dentists say brushing alone won’t help tooth decay.

What did the electrician’s boss say when he came late to work?

Wire you insulate?

What do you call a detective who just solves cases accidentally?

Sheer Luck Holmes.

Thank you for reading my writings. If you’d like to, you can buy me a coffee for just £1 and I will think of you while writing my next post! Just hit the link below…. (thanks in advance)

The Sage raps in the hood

(Verse 1)
In the heart of the hood, where the stories unfold,
There’s a man with a presence, worth more than gold,
White hair, white beard, in a robe so bright,
He’s the wisest man around, shining in the night.

With eyes that have witnessed a thousand sunsets,
He’s seen it all, no need to place your bets,
He’s walked through the fire, emerged from the cold,
This wise old man, he’s a story to be told.

(Chorus)
Wise white-haired man, in the hood, he stands tall,
With knowledge and wisdom, he conquers it all,
He’s the light in the darkness, the truth in the lie,
In the heart of the struggle, he’s the reason we fly.

(Verse 2)
In the streets where the young ones hustle and grind,
He’s the beacon of hope, with a brilliant mind,
He imparts his wisdom, like a sage from the past,
Teaching lessons that forever will last.

He speaks of unity, love, and respect,
Guiding lost souls, helping them connect,
Through trials and tribulations, he’s seen them all,
And he’s here to catch you when you stumble and fall.

(Chorus)
Wise white-haired man, in the hood, he stands tall,
With knowledge and wisdom, he conquers it all,
He’s the light in the darkness, the truth in the lie,
In the heart of the struggle, he’s the reason we fly.

(Verse 3)
His words are like poetry, a lyrical art,
A testament to a life lived with heart,
He’s a living legend, in the neighborhood’s embrace,
His wisdom transcends time and space.

In his white robe, he’s a symbol of grace,
A wise old man with a smiling face,
He reminds us all that we can be good,
Because in the hood, he’s the wisest man understood.

(Chorus)
Wise white-haired man, in the hood, he stands tall,
With knowledge and wisdom, he conquers it all,
He’s the light in the darkness, the truth in the lie,
In the heart of the struggle, he’s the reason we fly.

(Outro)
So here’s to the wise man, with the white hair so bright,
Guiding us through the darkness, like a beacon of light,
In the heart of the hood, his wisdom’s understood,
This wise old man, he’s the reason we’re good.

Thank you for reading my writings. If you’d like to, you can buy me a coffee for just £1 and I will think of you while writing my next post! Just hit the link below…. (thanks in advance)

Joke of the Day: Tuesday’s taught torniquet of tattered twine …

My friend was sent to prison last year for excessive burping.

He’s finally been let out with a pardon.

2,000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds

Saw my ex-girlfriend at the bank today, not good news!!

I was hoping she’d wash further downriver.

I went for a job interview today.

The interviewer said to me, “What would you say your greatest weakness is?”

I said, “I think I’d have to say my listening skills are my greatest strength.”

Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?

Because like all men, they won’t stop to ask directions.

DIET DAY 1

I have removed all the bad food from my home.

It was delicious.

I love watching flowing water on the internet.

In fact, I’m watching a live stream right now.

I recently got a step ladder.

It hurts not being able to see my real ladder anymore.

I dreamed I drowned in an ocean made of orange soda.

When I woke I realised it was just a Fanta sea.

This idiot on the treadmill at the gym, just put a water bottle in the Pringles holder.

My stoner friend used a page of my agenda notebook to roll up his joint.

He is now high on my list of priorities.

I went to the doctors recently. He said: “Don’t eat anything fatty”

I said: “What, like bacon and burgers?”

He said, “No. fatty don’t eat anything.”

What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a well dressed man on a unicycle?

Attire

I sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

Thank you for reading my writings. If you’d like to, you can buy me a coffee for just £1 and I will think of you while writing my next post! Just hit the link below…. (thanks in advance)

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