The Sage offers today’s advice: “Never trust a man who owns more than three toasters.” Hilariously unhelpful, questionably true, and deeply suspicious of carb-heavy lifestyles.
Category Archives: Advice
The Wise Sage gives his Advice of the Day: Bees
The Sage advises: “If a swarm of bees chases you, just tell them you’re not a flower.” Utterly useless, completely hilarious, and very much on brand.
The Wise Sage gives his Advice of the Day: Pigeons
The Sage warns: “If a pigeon offers you financial advice, something may be amiss.” A humorous reminder to question your sources—and maybe the voices in your head.
The Wise Sage gives his Advice of the Day:
Today’s sage advice? “Never buy potatoes with free shipping.” A warning about bruised tubers, online regret, and the hidden cost of ‘free.’
The Wise Sage gives his Advice of the Day: Haircuts
The Sage warns: never ask a barber if you need a haircut. A playful reminder that some advice comes with scissors. Classic tongue-in-cheek wisdom from The Sage Page.
Advice of the Day: Swim Buddy System
The Wise Sage shares his latest survival tip: swim with a friend to cut your chances of shark attack by 50%! A humorous take on the buddy system with just a hint of moral flexibility. Witty, wise, and only mildly terrifying.
Advice of the Day: Teeth Stains
WORRIED that your teeth will be stained after a heavy night drinking red wine? Drink a bottle of white wine before going to bed, to remove the stains. WORRIED that red wine might stain your teeth after a long night of “grape research”? Simply drink an equal amount of white wine before bed. It won’tContinue reading “Advice of the Day: Teeth Stains”
Advice of the Day: Waste Disposal
Dispose of old strip lighting tubes by inserting into dead snakes. This advice is not appropriate or ethical. It’s important to dispose of hazardous materials like old strip lighting tubes safely and responsibly, following local regulations and guidelines. Using dead snakes for disposal is both disrespectful to animals and potentially harmful to the environment. It’sContinue reading “Advice of the Day: Waste Disposal”
Advice of the Day: Stay safe
Create an inexpensive burglar alarm by covering your stairs in cornflakes before going to bed. Using cornflakes as a burglar alarm might not be the most effective or practical solution. It could create a mess and may not reliably deter burglars. Additionally, it could pose a safety hazard if someone were to slip and fallContinue reading “Advice of the Day: Stay safe”
Advice of the Day: Lay in
The early worm gets eaten by the bird, so sleep in. While it’s meant to be humorous, the advice “The early worm gets eaten by the bird, so sleep in” isn’t necessarily practical or applicable to most situations. In reality, being proactive and starting your day early can often lead to greater productivity and success.Continue reading “Advice of the Day: Lay in”
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