I went to the doctor. I said to him ‘I’m frightened of lapels.’
He said, ‘You’ve got cholera.’
I met the bloke who invented crosswords today.
I can’t remember his name, its P something T something R.
Once formed a band called the Sewing Machines..
Didn’t work out..
Couldn’t get a Singer …
FUN FACT !
If you lose a sock in the tumble dryer, it comes back as a plastic Tupperware lid which doesn’t fit any of your containers…
I’ve recently switched from eating venison to eating pheasant.
Absolute game changer.
My flight back from Gibraltar to Glasgow has just been cancelled.
Now I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place…
My wife said “Come into the bedroom and I’ll put on that black lace number…”
I said “No thanks, I can’t stand ‘Agadoo’…”
I don’t approve of political jokes…
I’ve seen too many of them get elected.
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