I asked the hotel receptionist for a wake-up call.
She rang me room and said, “What the hell are you doing with your life?”
I went to see the worst faith healer ever last night.
He was so bad, a guy in a wheelchair got up and walked out.
My friend said he was thinking of buying a car with a transparent driving wheel. I told him to steer clear.
I’ve just successfully bred a cross between a crocodile and a homing pigeon. I bet that’ll come back to bite me…
“Doctor, can you hurry up and help me, I’m shrinking!”
“Well, you’ll just have to be a little patient…”
I had eczema, diarrhoea and haemorrhoids over the weekend…
My best game of Scrabble ever.