Thursday Funnies!

I just wrote a book on reverse psychology…

Don’t buy it!

Someone called me pretentious the other day.

I nearly choked on my latte.

My mate dug a hole in the garden and filled it with water….

I think he meant well.

My wife said to me “There’s 14 reasons why I’m leaving you, and don’t even get me started on your tennis obsession!”

I said “Well that’s 15, love…”

I just bought ‘Cluedo: Swingers Edition’

It turn out they all did it……in every room!

My wife is leaving me because I don’t believe in her tarot readings…

To be fair it’s been on the cards for a while.

I saw this homeless guy busking in the street…

He was singing…

“Take a jumbo cross the water,

Like to see America….”

I said, “That’s Supertramp !”

He said, “Thanks ! I’ve been practising….”

Did anyone see the joke I posted recently about my spine?

It was about a weak back.

Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a Martini.

The bartender asked, “Olive or twist?”

I used to own a racing snail.

I thought taking it’s shell off would make it faster but it only made it more sluggish.

I was woken up this morning by a tap on the door. I must remember to get the plumber to take it off.

Published by The Sage Page


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