For my next trick, I will eat a musical instrument in a bread bap.
Drum roll please.
What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?
An irrelephant.
The advantage of easy origami is twofold…
BREAKING NEWS!
The family of a man who went missing after eating five tins of baked beans and two jars of pickled onions have made an emotional appeal for his return.
They said in a statement: “Please don’t come back for at least a week.”
Someone has glued my pack of cards together…
I don’t know how to deal with it.
How much does a rainbow weigh?
Not much, they’re actually pretty light.
I’m thinking of a career where I estimate crowd sizes at different outdoor events.
I wonder how many people are in that field.
A man is told the local bank offers mortgages with no interest.
The man enters the bank.
Man: I’m here to find out about the mortgage.
Employee: I don’t really care.
Why did the nurse tiptoe past the medicine room?
Because she didn’t want to wake up the sleeping pills.
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