Mid week jokes

I’ve started a boat building business in my attic.

The sails are going through the roof.

A man is washing the car with his son.

His son asks, “Dad, can’t you just use a sponge?”

My girlfriend has started her own business reading Tarot cards.

She’s making a fortune.

Did you know there’s no official training for garbage men?

They just pick it up as they go along.

6 was scared of 7 because 7, 8, 9 but why did 7 eat 9?

Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day.

At any given moment the urge to sing, “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” is just a whim away.

A whim away. A whim away….

I just found out that ‘Aarrgghh’ is not a real word.

I can’t even tell you how angry I am!

Want to hear a construction joke?

I’m working on it…

It all.

The title says it all.

If Dave has 50 chocolate bars and eats 45, what does he have left?

Diabetes. Dave has diabetes.

I was in a shop the other day, they put the heating on full blast, I complained to the manager ‘it’s over 90 degrees in here’

He said ‘Stop being so obtuse!’

Why is it that so many Kings are named after fractions?

My wife said she wanted to be treated for her birthday.

So I painted her with Cuprinol.

I used to have a job collecting leaves. I was raking it in.

Published by The Sage Page


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