I failed my Indian cooking exam because I wrote down ‘butter’ when I meant ‘ghee’.
I should have clarified.
Growing up my parents played Madness and The Specials constantly every day…
Ska’d me for life.
I once asked a bricklayer what his favourite ice cream was.
He said, “Walls…”
My girlfriend borrowed £100 from me.
When we separated 3 years later, she returned exactly £100.
I lost interest in that relationship.
If you play an Ed Sheeran song backwards you’ll hear a message from Satan.
Worse still, if you play it forwards you’ll hear Ed Sheeran.
Took my goldfish to the chip shop and asked ‘do you sell fish cakes?’
‘Yes’ they replied.
Great because it’s his birthday.
What do the movies “The Sixth Sense” and “Titanic” have in common?
Icy dead people.
As I suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden.
The plot thickens.
I just bought a new blindfold,
can’t see myself wearing it though.
What’s made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?
A shoe.
People are sometimes curious enough to become facebook friends for a clandestine look at someone else’s boredom.
My Great Grandad helped build the lion statues in Trafalgar Square…
That really put the cat amongst the pigeons…
The Sage Page 