Why do seagulls live by the sea?
Because if they lived by the bay they’d be bagels.
My mate Sid’s been a victim of ID theft.
He’s now called ‘S’
I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
I asked my dog what’s two minus two.
He said nothing.
I tried getting a doctor’s appointment today.
They said to me “How about 10 tomorrow”?
I said “Just one is enough”