Stevie Wonder got a cheese grater for his birthday.
He said it’s the most violent book he’s ever read.
Why do seagulls live by the sea?
Because if they lived by the bay they’d be bagels.
I never question myself.
Why should I start now?
My mate Sid’s been a victim of ID theft.
He’s now called ‘S’
Dentists are going on strike..
Brace yourselves.
I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
The CEO of Ikea was elected President of Sweden this week.
He’s still assembling his cabinet…
I asked my dog what’s two minus two.
He said nothing.
I sent my son to his room for saying Jim Morrison was a terrible musician.
He keeps slamming The Doors.
I tried getting a doctor’s appointment today.
They said to me “How about 10 tomorrow”?
I said “Just one is enough”
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