Friday’s fragrance of fancifulness …

My friend Gav died from heartburn this morning.

I can’t believe Gaviscon.

“Mum, why does everyone at school pick on me?”

“I’ve no idea, Someoneyourownsize.”

My mates music collection is amazing!

Well except for a few CDs by this one awful pop act.

So I’m taking Steps to change it.

My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.

I changed my password to “incorrect”.

So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say “Your password is incorrect”.

All men eat, but Fu Manchu.

The doctor said I should improve my diet by eating more whole foods.

Just had a bagel and a donut for lunch…

Bread is a lot like the sun.

It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.

I started my own all natural fertilizer company recently.

I guess that makes me an entremanure!

Despite zero experience, I’m opening a BBQ restaurant next to the courthouse.

It’ll be Trial by Fire.

What sound does a witch’s car make?

Broom broom.

All my friends keep saying that my new girlfriend is imaginary…

Joke’s on them, so are they!