The doctor gave me 4 months to live, so I shot him.
Judge gave me 20 years.
6:30 is definitely the best time on a clock…
Hands down.
We live in uncaring society. I was in the park the other day watching an old man feed the birds, and after a while I thought to myself, “I wonder how long he’s been dead.”
I met my girlfriend at an arthritis support group…you know when two people just click?
I was born to be a pessimist.
My blood type is B Negative.
I can’t get enough minimalism.
What do you call a Welsh singer who never gets lost?
Tomtom Jones.
A bunch of batteries were gathering around in a circle.
I guess they were having an AA-meeting.
What do you call your average ancient Greek?
Mediocrates.
How do you deal with a sad astronaut?
Just give them some space.
I started my own all natural fertilizer company recently.
I guess that makes me an entremanure!
James Bond got in the jacuzzi.
Bubble 07.
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