Light travels faster than sound.
This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
I thought it would be easy to balance a bucket of Tippex on my head…
I stand corrected…
Whenever I eat eggs benedict it reminds me of the time I lived in the Netherlands…
Those were my Holland days…
I met my wife at ‘Castanets Club’.
We clicked straight away…
When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo…
I had to put my foot down.
If I had to rate 60’s pop artists on a scale of 1 to 10, I’d give Dave Clark five…
I’ve had to close down my business making worktops.
It was counter productive.
My son’s pet frog broke his leg yesterday.
He was very unhoppy…
How old is All-Bran?
I’m just looking for the rough age.
There was an earthquake near the Galaxy chocolate factory this morning..
It sent ripples through the whole building.
My mate hates it when I put his chocolate bars in other chocolate bar wrappers.
It gets his Snickers in a Twix.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet!
What do you call Bears with no ears?
I saw a guy in the pub last night carrying 12 pints of lager.
I thought, that guy can really hold his drink.