Dating Jokes

Swipe Right for Laughter: A Collection of Dating Jokes

Navigate the sometimes bumpy dating world with a smile—our selection of dating jokes is your perfect match. Whether you’re nostalgic for awkward first date blunders or love clever one-liners about romance, these jokes bring relatable humour for singles, couples, and everyone in between. Ideal for lightening the mood or breaking the ice, this collection is guaranteed to elicit smiles, giggles, and maybe even a playful ‘LOL’ on a date night!

I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium are going out.

I was like OMg …

After kissing a girl on her sofa she said, “Let’s take this upstairs.”

“Okay,” I said, ” You grab one end and I’ll grab the other.”

I was crossing the street when I suddenly noticed my ex getting run over by a bus.

I thought to myself, “Wow! That could have been me!”

Then I remembered I can’t drive a bus.

The first time I had sex it was in my parent’s bedroom.

My wife said, “This is a bit awkward.” I said, “Just ignore them.”

A furniture store keeps calling me.

But all I wanted was one night stand.

He said – Since I first laid eyes on you, I’ve wanted to make love to you really badly.

She said – Well, you succeeded.

I once dated a girl with fiery red hair and a pale white thin body.

We met on match.com

The last time I was someone’s type, I was donating blood.

I used to go out with the lady who did the voice for the speaking clock.

We had a big falling out though, and now she won’t give me the time of day…

As I looked into her eyes I felt my knees go weak and my stomach turned to butterflies.

That’s when I realized I’d drugged the wrong glass.

When a girl changes clothes in front of you, she is really into you.

Or she hasn’t spotted you in the cupboard yet.

My mate has got a new wife called Peg.

He met her online.

I once dated a one-legged girl who worked in a brewery.

She was in charge of the hops.

I met my wife on Tinder.

That was awkward.

I was on a train and this woman opposite looked at me and said “Every time you smile, I feel like inviting you to my place…”

I asked, “Are you single??”

She replied, “No, I’m a dentist.”

I met my wife at ‘Castanets Club’.

We clicked straight away…

I went to a fancy dress party last weekend dressed as a loaf of bread…

The birds were all over me.

I used to go out with a girl whose left eye was missing.

She was a right looker…

I used to go out with a javelin thrower.

But then she chucked me.

Don’t date a tennis player – love means nothing to them.

I spelled out “marry me?” in balloons outside the house of a girl I met on the internet.

When I finally met her in person for the first time, I popped the question.

And that’s not all ….

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