Joke of the Day: Chemistry

Why was the chemist arrested?

He threw sodium chloride at his girlfriend. That’s a salt.

Last night a hypnotist convinced me I was a soft, malleable metal with an atomic number of 82.

I’m easily lead.

What happens if someone steals uranium?

It becomes theiranium.

What’s the friendliest polyatomic ion?

Bromate.

Oxygen and potassium went on a date…

It went OK

Never trust an atom!

They make up everything.

What type of fish do two Sodium atoms make?

2Na

For our chemistry exam we had to write a thousand words on acid.

Unfortunately, my pen turned into a gorilla and the floor melted.

It turns out my school chemistry teacher was right. Alcohol IS a solution.

I wanna make a joke about sodium, but Na..

A Physicist and a Biologist had a relationship …

But there was no Chemistry

Which is heavier: a litre of water or a litre of butane?

The water. No matter how much you have, butane will always be a lighter fluid.

I went to a fancy dress party dressed as Neon.

Someone told me it looked terrible.

I didn’t react.

A neutron gets a pint and asks how much it is, and the barman says “For you, no charge”.

I ordered some Avocado Toast at a cafe, but imagine my surprise when I was given 602214076000000000000000 pieces of toasts.

It was then I realized… …I’d accidentally ordered Avogadro’s Toast.

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