Advice of the Day: Staying Close to a Toilet

Advice of the Day: Staying Close to a Toilet

Ensure you are never too far away from a toilet by loudly asking, “Where’s the toilet?” immediately upon entering every building. – The Sage

Many people waste valuable time trying to locate bathroom facilities only when the situation becomes urgent. The Wise Sage recommends a far more proactive approach. The moment you enter a pub, restaurant, shop, museum, or small village church, simply ask where the toilet is before anyone has even said hello. This demonstrates excellent planning and a commendable respect for logistics.

For even greater peace of mind, consider conducting a brief “toilet reconnaissance tour” wherever you go. Casually stroll around the building, opening doors and nodding thoughtfully. If challenged, simply say, “I’m mapping the exits.” People respect a person who plans ahead.

The Sage also recommends sitting strategically whenever possible. Choose the chair closest to the door, the aisle seat on trains, and never allow yourself to be trapped in the middle of a row at the cinema. Remember: in life, as in chess, good positioning is everything.

As always, The Sage accepts no responsibility for suspicious glances, confused shop assistants, or being politely asked to leave the museum gift shop.


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Published by The Sage Page

Philosopher

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