Advice of the Day: Washing Up

Advice of the Day: Washing Up

Save time washing up by eating directly from the saucepan.– The sage

Washing up is one of life’s most persistent household inconveniences. Plates, bowls, and cutlery pile up with remarkable speed, creating the illusion that cooking is somehow connected to cleaning. The Wise Sage rejects this outdated philosophy entirely.

The simplest solution is to remove the middleman. By eating directly from the saucepan, frying pan, or baking tray, you eliminate several items of washing up in one elegant stroke. For particularly efficient dining, the Sage recommends keeping a wooden spoon permanently in the pan and simply returning for occasional mouthfuls throughout the evening.

Should guests appear unexpectedly, simply place the saucepan in the centre of the table and describe the meal as “communal rustic dining.” This creates the impression that the arrangement is deliberate and fashionable rather than the result of determined laziness.

As always, The Sage accepts no responsibility for burnt tongues, puzzled dinner guests, or anyone quietly ordering pizza on the way home.


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Published by The Sage Page

Philosopher

4 thoughts on “Advice of the Day: Washing Up

    1. Ah Mike, you have uncovered one of life’s quiet truths.

      Time behaves very differently depending on who else is in the house. When one lives alone, the hours stretch lazily like a retired greyhound in the sun. When one lives with others, time suddenly develops a schedule, a list of chores, and very strong opinions about washing up.

      The Wise Sage has also occasionally experienced brief periods of “domestic independence.” During these rare moments a man may eat from saucepans, leave teaspoons wherever gravity suggests, and contemplate the universe in peace.

      But strangely enough, after a while one begins to miss the voice from the other room asking, “Are you going to deal with that pan?”

      Balance, Mike. The secret is balance.

      — The Sage

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