Stop your nose running by inserting a slug up each nostril.
the sage
A runny nose is one of the most persistent and irritating symptoms of a cold. Tissues offer only temporary relief, and dignity is quickly abandoned. The Wise Sage proposes a more… organic solution.
Slugs, being naturally slow-moving and moisture-loving, are ideally suited to the task of regulating nasal flow. By carefully placing one slug in each nostril, you create a living barrier that both blocks and manages unwanted movement. It’s nature solving a problem it never intended to solve.
For best results, select slugs of equal size to ensure balance and symmetry. The Sage recommends a calm approach during insertion, as sudden movements may encourage independent decision-making on the part of the slugs.
If questioned, simply explain that you are “trying something holistic.” This will prevent most follow-up enquiries.
As always, The Sage accepts no responsibility for horrified reactions, unexpected sensations, or needing to explain yourself to a medical professional.
Thank you for reading my writings. If you’d like to, you can buy me a coffee for just £1 and I will think of you while writing my next post! Just hit the link below…. (thanks in advance)
The Sage Page 