Jokes of the day.

Farmers are leaving Facebook in droves. Every time they put down a post.

Somebody takes a fence.

I couldn’t sleep last night so I read a dictionary

By 03:00 I was past caring.

My wife claims I’m the cheapest person she’s ever met.

I’m not buying it.

I once dated a girl who had a six foot tall light switch in her bedroom.

It was a massive turn on…

I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it.

I thought, ‘That’s Aboriginal.’

Just changed my Facebook name to ‘benefits’ so when you add me it says ‘You are now friends with benefits’.

I went to a general store. They wouldn’t let me buy anything specifically.

What’s black and white and eats like a horse?

A Zebra.

I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do. And for those who like country music, denigrate means ‘put down.

Do you want to buy a broken barometer?

No pressure.

My wife’s leaving me because she thinks I’m obsessed with astronomy.

What planet is she on?

A paragraph on fear.

Fear is irrational and inappropriate.  Let’s try to rationalise it.  Firstly let’s recognise what fear is – a chemical reaction. The word fear stands for fantasies envisaged as real. And that’s just what they are. For in primitive times people lived by their fears and their biological instincts when faced with a threat was to fight or flee. The autonomic nervous system directed the organs and systems of the body to deal with a threatening situation by producing chemicals and directing the flow of blood and oxygen to the parts of the body that needed it most.  However this is inappropriate when there is no actual foe to fight or flee from.  So think good outcomes, big videos with positive emotions and anticipate good things!

The placebo and nocebo effect.

The placebo effect is a somewhat well known phenomenon. Imagine you take a group of people with a headache, you give them a mint pill but you tell them that it was an aspirin with mint flavour. What would happen? A few people will start feeling better; some may even stop having their headache. That is, even if they do not really take a pain killer, somehow, the fact that they think they are taking it actually changes the way they feel: they feel better. This is the placebo effect.

The nocebo effect is its evil twin and produces the opposite results. If you take a group of people that feel fine, and you give them a mint pill and tell them that it is going to give them nausea and a headache, there will be some people that will actually start feeling ill. Studies on the placebo and nocebo effect suggest that perception is not merely a result of external stimuli, but it is not yet clear how exactly our beliefs or expectations alter our perceptions. So thinking good thoughts and outcomes make you feel better!