Obviously
Joke of the Day: Sleeping Bull
Obviously
Thought of the Day: Skinny
People who are larger have more skin. Making them skinnier.
No, that statement is not accurate! The amount of skin a person has is not directly related to their body size or weight. Skin size and surface area can vary somewhat between individuals, but it’s not proportional to body size in the way that statement suggests.
Body size and weight are determined by factors such as muscle mass, bone density, fat distribution, and overall body composition. Larger individuals typically have more mass overall, which includes muscle, fat, bone, and other tissues. However, this doesn’t mean they have more skin relative to their size; rather, their skin may need to cover a larger surface area due to their body’s dimensions, but it doesn’t necessarily make them “skinnier” in appearance.
It’s important to note that being “skinny” or “fat” is a complex interplay of various factors, including genetics, diet, exercise, metabolism, and overall health, and it cannot be simplistically explained by the amount of skin someone has.
The term “skinny” as it refers to being thin or slim likely originated from the Middle English word “skin,” which referred to the skin or the outer covering of the body. Over time, “skinny” evolved to describe someone who is very thin or lacking in flesh.
The exact origins of the term are not definitively known, but it has been used in English language for centuries to describe individuals who are lean or slender. Its usage became more widespread over time, and today it’s a common colloquial term used to describe someone who is thin or has a low body weight.
It’s worth noting that language evolves over time, and the meanings and connotations of words can change as well. While “skinny” originally simply referred to being thin, it can sometimes carry additional connotations or implications depending on context and cultural factors.
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This Day in History: March 27th
Here are ten historical events that took place on March 27th, listed in chronological order:
- 1309 – Pope Clement V excommunicates Venice and all its population.
- 1625 – Charles I becomes King of England, Scotland, and Ireland as well as claiming the title of King of France.
- 1794 – The United States Government establishes a permanent navy and authorizes the building of six frigates.
- 1836 – The first installment of The Pickwick Papers by Charles Dickens is published.
- 1851 – First reported sighting of the Yosemite Valley by Europeans.
- 1915 – Typhoid Mary, the first healthy carrier of disease ever identified in the United States, is put in quarantine, where she would remain for the rest of her life.
- 1945 – World War II: Operation Starvation, the aerial mining of Japan’s ports and waterways, begins.
- 1977 – Tenerife airport disaster: Two Boeing 747 airliners collide on a foggy runway on Tenerife in the Canary Islands, killing 583 people.
- 1980 – Silver Thursday: A steep fall in silver prices, resulting from the Hunt Brothers’ attempt to corner the market, leads to panic on commodity and futures exchanges.
- 1998 – The Food and Drug Administration approves Viagra for use as a treatment for male impotence, becoming the first pill to be approved for this condition in the United States.
These events span centuries and cover a range of historical contexts and significance.
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Joke of the Day: Coffee
Good advice!
This Day in History: March 26th
Here are ten historical events that took place on March 26th, listed in chronological order:
- 1484: William Caxton printed his translation of Aesop’s Fables, becoming the first English printer.
- 1804: The U.S. Congress passed the Twelfth Amendment to the United States Constitution, changing the procedure for electing the president and vice president.
- 1812: An earthquake devastated Caracas, Venezuela, killing an estimated 20,000 people.
- 1885: The Métis people led by Louis Riel declared a provisional government in Saskatchewan, Canada, starting the North-West Rebellion.
- 1913: Balkan War: Bulgarian forces captured Adrianople (modern-day Edirne, Turkey) from the Ottoman Empire during the First Balkan War.
- 1942: World War II: In occupied France, the French Gestapo rounded up 1,500 Jews, arresting them and subsequently sending them to Auschwitz.
- 1971: East Pakistan declared independence from Pakistan, forming the new nation of Bangladesh.
- 1979: The Camp David Accords were signed by Israeli Prime Minister Menachem Begin and Egyptian President Anwar Sadat, with U.S. President Jimmy Carter mediating.
- 1997: Thirty-nine members of the Heaven’s Gate cult were found dead in a mass suicide in Rancho Santa Fe, California, believing they were destined to rendezvous with a spaceship hiding behind the Comet Hale-Bopp.
- 2010: A magnitude 6.9 earthquake struck near Tijuana, Mexico, causing buildings to sway as far away as Los Angeles and San Diego.
These events reflect a diverse range of historical occurrences spanning centuries and continents.
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What do you call? Jokes
What do you call a Communist sniper?
A Marx-man.
What do you call a homeless horse?
Unstable
What do you call a computer mouse that swears?
A cursor.
What do you call a beehive without an exit?
Unbeeleaveable!
What do you call a man in a slow-cooker?
Stu.
What do you call a group of anxious dinosaurs?
Nervous Rex.
What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Depresso.
What do you call someone in debt?
Owen.
What do you call a man with cat scratches all over his head?
Claude.
What do you call a cow on a trampoline?
A milk shake.
What do you call a superhero with a bad sense of direction?
Wander woman.
What do you call 100 little sheep rolling down a hill?
A lambslide.
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.
What do you call a woman who sounds like an ambulance?
Nina.
What do you call a bedpan in Russia?
A Poo-tin.
What do you call two blokes sitting on top of a window?
Kurt and Rod
What do you call a girl who catches fish?
Annette.
What do you call a £1,000 door?
A grand entrance.
What do you call a man with no shins?
Tony.
What do you call a big pile of cats?
A meowntain.
What do you call a dentist who doesn’t like tea?
Denis.
What do you call a dadjoke you made up yourself?
Home groan.
What do you call a Welshman with a biscuit on his head?
Dai Gestive.
What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?
An irrelephant.
What do you call an ugly dinosaur?
An eyesaur.
What do you call a fly with no wings?
Still a fly. The irony is unfortunate, but the name doesn’t change.
What do you call it when you’re attracted to both men and women but neither are attracted to you?
Bi-yourself.
What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind?
Maybe
What do you call a camel with no hump?
Humphrey.
What do you call a dead musician?
A decomposer.
What do you call a short mother?
A minimum.
What do you call a banana with eyes?
A binini.
What do you call a man with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?
Phillipe Phillope.
What do you call a floating dog?
A good buoy.
What do you call a cat with no legs?
Dog food.
What do you call Postman Pat on the dole?
Pat.
What do you call Bears with no ears?
B.
What do you call a Welsh singer who never gets lost?
Tomtom Jones.
What do you call your average ancient Greek?
Mediocrates.
What do you call a chicken staring at a lettuce?
Chicken sees a salad.
What do you call a hippo without a butt?
A hippo-bottomless.
What do you call a one-legged hippo?
A hoppo.
What do you call a man who lives in an envelope?
Bill.
What do you call a hotel breakfast that gives you diarrhoea?
Incontinental.
What do you call an ox with a large bum?
Big buttocks.
What do you call a chicken in a shell suit?
An egg.
What do you call a detective who just solves cases accidentally?
Sheer Luck Holmes.
What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is at all times?
A widow
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship.
What do you call a man wearing two raincoats?
Max
What do you call a guy pouring water into a glass?
Phil.
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Joke of the Day: Names
Thought of the Day: Blinking
If everybody blinked in sync, nobody would know that other people blinked.
Yes, it’s true! If everyone blinked in perfect synchronization, it’s unlikely that anyone would notice that others blinked because everyone’s eyes would be closed simultaneously. Each person’s perception of time would be interrupted during the blink, so they wouldn’t be aware of the precise moment when others blinked. Therefore, it would seem as if everyone’s eyes remained open continuously. However, achieving such perfect synchronization among a large group of people would be practically impossible.
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This Day in History: March 25th
Here are 10 historical events that took place on March 25th, listed in chronological order:
- 1306: Robert the Bruce becomes King of Scotland.
- 1584: Sir Walter Raleigh is granted a patent to colonize Virginia.
- 1655: Christiaan Huygens discovers Titan, the largest moon of Saturn.
- 1807: The British Parliament abolishes the slave trade in the British Empire.
- 1911: The Triangle Shirtwaist Factory fire in New York City kills 146 garment workers, leading to significant changes in workplace safety regulations.
- 1957: The Treaty of Rome establishes the European Economic Community (EEC), which later evolves into the European Union.
- 1965: Civil rights activists lead the successful Selma to Montgomery marches for voting rights in Alabama, USA.
- 1975: King Faisal of Saudi Arabia is assassinated by his nephew.
- 1988: The Candle demonstration in Bratislava, Slovakia, marks the beginning of the Velvet Revolution against Communist rule in Czechoslovakia.
- 1995: The WikiWikiWeb, the world’s first wiki, is established by Ward Cunningham.
These events span a wide range of historical and cultural significance across different parts of the world.
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Clever Maths Jokes Collection for Number Enthusiasts | Math Mirth
Welcome to Math Mirth, your go-to site for clever and witty maths jokes! Whether you’re a number enthusiast or just love a good pun, our collection of maths humour is sure to tickle your funny bone. From algebraic antics to geometric gags, we’ve got jokes that add up to a lot of laughs. Dive in and discover the lighter side of mathematics!
Atheists don’t solve exponential equations because they don’t believe in higher powers.
If the number 666 is considered evil…
Is 25.8069758 the root of all evil?
I collected a lot of data trying to disprove observation bias.
The results were exactly as I expected.
I asked my German friend if he knew the square root of 81.
He said “No”.
I once tried to quickly make a square but I ended up with an octagon…
That’s what happens when you cut corners.
Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of negative numbers?
He would stop at nothing to avoid them.
My geometry teacher has lost his parrot.
Polygon.
I used to be a big Robbie Williams fan but that all changed when I started to study geometry and found that more interesting.
I’m loving angles instead…
I had a threesome with a scalene and an isosceles.
It was a love triangle.
My maths teacher called me average.
How mean!
What do you get if you divide 22 sheep into 7 pens?
A shepherd’s pi…
3.14% of sailors are Pi Rates.
Why didn’t 4 ask out 5?
Because he was 2².
6 was scared of 7 because 7, 8, 9 but why did 7 eat 9?
Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day.
If Dave has 50 chocolate bars and eats 45, what does he have left?
Diabetes. Dave has diabetes.
I was in a shop the other day, and they put the heating on full blast.
I complained to the manager ‘It’s over 90 degrees in here’
He said ‘Stop being so obtuse!’
Why is it that so many Kings are named after fractions?
I, for one, like Roman numerals.
95% of people are idiots. I’m glad I’m in the other 15%.
There’s a thin line between a numerator and a denominator.
Only a fraction of people will find this funny.
Mental maths.
It’s the thought that counts.
I asked my dog what’s two minus two.
He said nothing.
I’ve just seen an advert in my local newspaper. ACCOUNTANT NEEDED! £35,000 – £40,000
So I rang them and said, “The answer is -£5,000”
7/5th of all people do not understand fractions.
There are only 10 kinds of people that understand binary – those that do, and those that don’t.
f(x)=2×1 walks into a bar.
The barman says, “Sorry, we don’t cater for functions”.
If I got 50 pence for every math exam I failed…
I’d have £7.35 now.
Not all maths puns are bad. Just sum
My wife said she would leave me because of my obsession with algebra.
Now she is my X.
I know a mathematician who can’t afford lunch.
He’s binomial.
I challenged the number 1 to a fight, but he brought his friends 3, 5, 7, and 9.
The odds were against me.
I’ve decided to become a maths teacher, but I’m only going to teach subtraction.
I just want to make a difference.
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius…
But his brother Frank was a monster.
I just broke up with my mathematician wife.
She was still obsessed with her x.
Maths and alcohol don’t mix.
Please don’t drink and derive.
Why do math teachers make good dancers?
Because they have algorithm.
Never discuss infinity with a mathematician.
If 2×2 makes 4, and 3×3 makes 9, how come 0x0 makes gravy?
I know every single digit of pi.
Just not in the right order.
My stats professor told me that the larger the sample size, the more trustworthy the data.
I guess the N’s justify the means.
Bit nervous about my maths exam.
Think my chances of passing it are 40-40.
Got stopped by customs with a calculator, an exercise book, and a slide rule.
Apparently, they’re instruments of maths instruction.
I wear glasses during maths because it improves division.
Improper Fraction Helpdesk.
Now open 24/7
When I eat a rack of ribs I only eat ribs 2, 3, 5, 7 and 11
I prefer prime ribs.
I ordered some Avocado Toast at a cafe, but imagine my surprise when I was given 602214076000000000000000 pieces of toast.
It was then I realized…
I’d accidentally ordered Avogadro’s Toast.
Math puns are the first sine of madness.
Without geometry, life is pointless.
If a male mathematician sunbathes outside a lot, are they a real tan gent?
What did the mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra.
I got thrown out of math class for one too many infractions.
Mathematicians are sum worshippers.
I did so much geometry study today that I’m exhausted.
I’m all out of shape.
Did you now that mathematicians are always reluctant to cosine a loan?
How do deaf mathematicians communicate?
Through sine language.
Old mathematicians never die.
They just disintegrate.
Why did the mathematician work at home?
Because he could only function in his domain.
Did you hear what happened to the mathematician who couldn’t stop adding up, until it finally all got too much for him?
He had an incremental breakdown.
I used to hate math until I realised that decimals have a point.
Why is advanced geometry class boring?
Because it’s full of squares.
What did the arrogant math teacher do when he was wrong?
He ate a slice of humble pi.
When math teachers retire, how do they cope with the aftermath?
I’m struggling in math class.
It just feels like we’re going in circles.
Why should you wear glasses during math class?
It improves division.
What do organic mathematicians throw on their fire?
Natural logs.
I don’t really like math, but I’m partial to fractions.
I tried studying negative numbers but I became nonplussed.
What happens to mathematicians who don’t practise safe sex?
They get binarial disease.
I read a math book the other day.
To be honest, I thought a lot of it was rather derivative.
Can bad mathematicians not count on their friends?
I should never have become a math teacher.
It was a miscalculated move.
Why will we never run out of math teachers?
Because they always multiply.
And that’s not all …..
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The Sage Page 