The Sage offers practical advice: always carry an emergency banana. It may not solve your problems, but it will confuse your enemies and keep your potassium levels in check. Possibly both.
Tag Archives: Advice
Advice of the Day: Pick Your Battles
Don’t argue with idiots—they’ll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. Today, the Sage offers timeless advice on choosing your battles wisely and walking away from nonsense with dignity (and your blood pressure intact).
The Wise Sage gives his Advice of the Day…Thoughts.
Today’s Sage Advice: “If you have a problem, just try not thinking about it.” Sound logic or absolute chaos? Only on The Sage Page.
Advice of the Day: Anti-Spy Strategy
Advice of the Day: “To prove you’re not a spy, begin every conversation by shouting ‘Who are you?!’” A highly questionable tactic from The Sage — use at your own peril.
Advice of the Day: Confident Conversation
Advice of the Day: “If you want to appear confident, just start every sentence with ‘As I told the Archbishop…’” The Sage dishes out absurd British wit for bluffing with style.
The Wise Sage gives his Advice of the Day: Toasters
The Sage offers today’s advice: “Never trust a man who owns more than three toasters.” Hilariously unhelpful, questionably true, and deeply suspicious of carb-heavy lifestyles.
The Wise Sage gives his Advice of the Day: Bees
The Sage advises: “If a swarm of bees chases you, just tell them you’re not a flower.” Utterly useless, completely hilarious, and very much on brand.
The Wise Sage gives his Advice of the Day:
Today’s sage advice? “Never buy potatoes with free shipping.” A warning about bruised tubers, online regret, and the hidden cost of ‘free.’
Advice of the Day: Swim Buddy System
The Wise Sage shares his latest survival tip: swim with a friend to cut your chances of shark attack by 50%! A humorous take on the buddy system with just a hint of moral flexibility. Witty, wise, and only mildly terrifying.
Advice of the Day: Teeth Stains
WORRIED that your teeth will be stained after a heavy night drinking red wine? Drink a bottle of white wine before going to bed, to remove the stains. WORRIED that red wine might stain your teeth after a long night of “grape research”? Simply drink an equal amount of white wine before bed. It won’tContinue reading “Advice of the Day: Teeth Stains”
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