I’ve got this awful disease where I can’t stop telling airport jokes.
The doctor says it’s terminal.
I said to my boss, “Boss, can I have a week off around Christmas?”
He said, “It’s May.”
I said, “Sorry. May I have a week off around Christmas?”
Just ordered a takeaway from the local Chinese.
I ordered a 7, a 13, a 21 and a 33, unfortunately I had to take them all back though..
They tasted odd.
If a tree falls in the forest and nobody hears it…
Then my illegal logging business is a success!
What do you call someone who points out the obvious?
Someone who points out the obvious.
I hate people that always need assurance.
Do you know what I mean?
I saw a poster that said, “Have you seen my cat?”
I rang the number and told them I haven’t.
I like to help where I can.
Sixteen Sodium atoms walk into a bar…
Followed by Batman.
I like to hit people on the knee to test their reflexes.
I don’t know why, but I get a kick out of it…
A bloke just knocked on my door, I opened it and he was about 3 foot 3 inches tall…
I said “who are you?”
He replied “I’m the meter man”
I’m having this recurring dream where I think I’m a horse.
Last five nights on the trot…
What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of lettuce?
Chicken sees a salad.
Looking to understand if anyone else suffers from “I’m an insect syndrome”??
Just putting my feelers out…
Can’t believe I got fired on my first day as a signwirter…
Just watched a documentary all about Anne Boleyn…
There is no mention whatsoever of her sister Tenpin…
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