Some Jokes for Monday.

I’ve got this awful disease where I can’t stop telling airport jokes.

The doctor says it’s terminal.

I said to my boss, “Boss, can I have a week off around Christmas?”

He said, “It’s May.”

I said, “Sorry. May I have a week off around Christmas?”

Just ordered a takeaway from the local Chinese.

I ordered a 7, a 13, a 21 and a 33, unfortunately I had to take them all back though..

They tasted odd.

If a tree falls in the forest and nobody hears it…

Then my illegal logging business is a success!

What do you call someone who points out the obvious?

Someone who points out the obvious.

I hate people that always need assurance.

Do you know what I mean?

I saw a poster that said, “Have you seen my cat?”

I rang the number and told them I haven’t.

I like to help where I can.

Sixteen Sodium atoms walk into a bar…

Followed by Batman.

I like to hit people on the knee to test their reflexes.

I don’t know why, but I get a kick out of it…

A bloke just knocked on my door, I opened it and he was about 3 foot 3 inches tall…

I said “who are you?”

He replied “I’m the meter man”

I’m having this recurring dream where I think I’m a horse.

Last five nights on the trot…

What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of lettuce?

Chicken sees a salad.

Looking to understand if anyone else suffers from “I’m an insect syndrome”??

Just putting my feelers out…

Can’t believe I got fired on my first day as a signwirter…

Just watched a documentary all about Anne Boleyn…

There is no mention whatsoever of her sister Tenpin…

Published by The Sage Page


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