I once saw two octopuses that looked exactly the same…
They must have been itentacle twins.
I was at a funeral the other day and a couple in front of me were loudly arguing about which herb goes best with which fish.
I could only think it wasn’t the Thyme or Plaice.
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
Because they lactose.
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high.
She seemed surprised.
I entered a palindrome contest today…
I got top spot.
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog.
He picks the dog up and starts swinging it around his head.
Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: ‘Can I help, sir?’
‘No thanks,’ says the blind bloke. ‘Just looking.’
1,2,3,4,5 Once I caught a fish alive,
6,7,8,9,10 I’m banned from London Zoo again…
People thought that Tina Turner had moved into my spare room last weekend but she was simply the guest…
The Sage Page 