“I was running away from an erupting volcano and I tripped up on a rock!”
“Krakatoa?”
“No but I twisted my ankle…”
What’s the scariest word to hear from your surgeon?
“Ooops!”
The three things I’m grateful for:
1. Family
2. Friends
3. Caller ID to avoid family and friends.
Which is heavier: a litre of water or a litre of butane?
The water.
No matter how much you have, butane will always be a lighter fluid.
Police looking for a man who stabbed six people with knitting needles.
He seems to be following some sort of pattern!
I was blessed with a 9 inch penis.
That priest is in prison now.
If I’m ever on life support, unplug me…
Then plug me back in, see if that works.
School days, I remember them well.
Footy at dinner, crafty fag round smokers corner, snogging the girls behind the bike shed…
Bloody miss that caretaker job.
I’ve started a business building yachts in my attic.
Sails are going through the roof!
Alcohol is not the answer, it just makes you forget the question
A good pun is its own reword.
A day for firm decisions!
Or is it?
I’m going on a camping holiday but I’m not happy with my travel insurance.
Apparently, if my tent blows away during the night I’ll no longer be covered…
The Sage Page 