Friday’s freight of festivities …

“I was running away from an erupting volcano and I tripped up on a rock!”


“No but I twisted my ankle…”

What’s the scariest word to hear from your surgeon?


The three things I’m grateful for:

1. Family

2. Friends

3. Caller ID to avoid family and friends.

Which is heavier: a litre of water or a litre of butane?

The water.

No matter how much you have, butane will always be a lighter fluid.

Police looking for a man who stabbed six people with knitting needles.

He seems to be following some sort of pattern!

I was blessed with a 9 inch penis.

That priest is in prison now.

If I’m ever on life support, unplug me…

Then plug me back in, see if that works.

School days, I remember them well.

Footy at dinner, crafty fag round smokers corner, snogging the girls behind the bike shed…

Bloody miss that caretaker job.

I’ve started a business building yachts in my attic.

Sails are going through the roof!

Alcohol is not the answer, it just makes you forget the question

A good pun is its own reword.

A day for firm decisions!

Or is it?

I’m going on a camping holiday but I’m not happy with my travel insurance.

Apparently, if my tent blows away during the night I’ll no longer be covered…

Published by The Sage Page


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