Tuesday’s carnival of custard ….

Not all maths puns are bad.

Just sum

At a job interview I filled my glass of water until it overflowed a little.

“Nervous?” asked the interviewer.

No, I always give 110%”

My son asked me for a pet spider for his birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70!

Blow this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.

My friend Timmy was once bitten by a rattlesnake, and if I knew the difference between antidote and anecdote he’d still be alive today.

Women like silent men, they think they’re listening.


Big delays on the motorway this morning after a truck carrying grain collided with an Ovaltine lorry.

Police describe it as a malty vehicle accident…

My granddad always used to say; “As one door closes, another one opens…”

Lovely man, terrible cabinet maker.

I applied for a job looking after the Australian marsupials at the zoo…

However I didn’t possess the necessary koalafications…


Did you know that the patron saint of checking if your bread rolls are ready to come out of the oven is St John the Bap Test…?

I saw a slide with an 85 degree incline for sale the other day for £1000.

I thought that’s a bit steep…

I had a dream that John Lennon and Gary Barlow formed a supergroup…

Imagine that!

You know Bruce Lee was fast, but he had an even faster brother…

Sudden Lee.

I’m thinking of giving my Shetland pony a Covid test…

His main symptom is that he’s a little hoarse.

Published by The Sage Page


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