How do you make a bear cross?
Nail two bears together.
My friend has been a limo driver for 25 years and hasn’t had a single customer.
All that time and nothing to chauffeur it.
What’s it called when a chameleon can’t change its colors anymore?
A reptile dysfunction.
As I get older and I remember all the people I’ve lost along the way…
I think to myself, maybe a career as a tour guide wasn’t for me.
My mother used to say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, but don’t worry, the glass ceiling lets in so much light.
My girlfriend said she’s leaving me because of my addiction to anti-depressants.
Guess I won’t be needing those any more.
I know a mathematician who can’t afford lunch.
Purple is my favorite color!
I like it more than blue and red combined.
COLE’S LAW: Thinly sliced cabbage.
To do is to be. (Descartes).
To be is to do. (Voltaire).
Do be do be do. (Frank Sinatra).
I went into the Police station and saw a man with three stripes on his arm and a trifle on his head…
He was the custardy sergeant.
Jungle music was actually discovered in the jungle in 1843 by explorer Sir Phillip Drummond-Bass…
Years ago I went on a picnic with Errol Brown from Hot Chocolate.
It started with a quiche…