My wife has begged me to stop making police related puns…
I said, “O.K…..I’ll give it arrest.
First rule of ‘Rick Astley Fight Club’;
You know the rules and so do I…
I have a friend that sells second hand mountaineering equipment…
It’s money for old rope.
My wealthy friend lives in a castle.
For his son’s 5th birthday party they hired a bouncy council house…
It’s ‘Jamaican hairstyle day’ at work next week.
I’m dreading it.
There is a new type of head lice going around which is resistant to conventional treatments.
It’s left scientists scratching their heads…
I’m having this recurring dream where I think I’m a horse.
Last five nights on the trot…
During his time in the army, Bob Marley always polished his boots quietly with no one else about…
He was a buff alone soldier.
I bought a toilet brush yesterday.
But I gotta say I still prefer toilet paper.
What do you call a floating dog?
A good buoy.
I just called the paranoia hotline.
A guy answered, “How did you get this number?!”
I challenged the number 1 to a fight, but he brought his friends 3, 5, 7, and 9.
The odds were against me.
When you’re in California, make sure your mechanic uses a state flag to check your oil.
Then you’ll get a “Super Cali-Flagger Dipstick Expert Diagnosis.”
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