Tuesday’s timeworn turntable of terrible tunes …

I visited the birthplace of the man who invented the toothbrush.

There’s no plaque.

Always give 100% at work.

12% on Monday.

23% on Tuesday.

40% on Wednesday.

20% on Thursday.

5% on Fridays.

Just had a look when Sinead O’Connor was last trending on Twitter.

It’s been 7 hours and 15 days.

What do you call a chicken staring at a lettuce?

Chicken sees a salad.

My girlfriend is leaving me because of the way I treat her friends.

“You’re not even a qualified Gynaecologist,” she said.

The Internet has become too politically correct.

What’s all this nonsense about disabled cookies?

In my day, they were called broken biscuits.

We all know Albert Einstein was a genius…

But his brother Frank was a monster.

100 years ago everyone had a horse and only the rich had cars. Nowadays everyone has a car and only the rich have horses.

Oh how the stables have turned…

Heck is where people go who don’t believe in Gosh.

Me and my reclining chair – we go WAY back..