Friday’s feeble fountain of freudian fish food ….

Corduroy pillows: They’re making headlines!

Two old ladies were attending a rather long church service.

One leaned over & whispered: My bottom is going to sleep.

‘I know,’ replied the other, ‘I heard it snore three times.’

A French guest, staying in a hotel in London phoned room service for some pepper.

“Black pepper, or white pepper?” asked the concierge.

“Toilette pepper!” said the Frenchman.

My wife is leaving me because I keep forgetting to take the old coffee filter out of the machine…

She claims it’s grounds for divorce.

My friend bet me £100 that I couldn’t do a butterfly impression…

I thought, ‘that’s got to be worth a little flutter’…

I used to go out with a javelin thrower.

But then she chucked me.

I’m sure this petrol crisis was caused by people talking about it so much it became a self fuel filling prophecy…

Stealing clothes from washing lines.

Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.

I know loads of white sugar jokes..

I don’t have many brown sugar jokes though demerara.

Me, lazy?

Don’t get me started.

A man is at court today for damaging books by putting tippex on all the full stops.

He’s expecting a long sentence.

My motto is “Never say never.”

Which makes it very difficult to tell people my motto.

Published by The Sage Page


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