Tuesday’s tortuous tautology of tasteless tidings ….

I’ve got a job organising opera singers within my local region…

I’m the aria manager.

What starts with an “O” and ends with “nions” and sometimes make you cry?


I am writing a book about all the things I should be doing in my life.

It’s an oughtobiography.

It’s really hard to define ‘virtue signalling’, as I was saying the other day to some of my Muslim friends over a fair-trade coffee in our local feminist bookshop.

The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you’re signing somebody’s cast.

I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together.

Life is like a box of chocolates.
It doesn’t last long if you’re fat.

A spa hotel?

It’s like a normal hotel, only in reception there’s a picture of a pebble.

What is the least spoken language in the world?

Sign language.

My girlfriend hates it when I sneak up on her.

Also the police say I should stop referring to her as my girlfriend.

My girlfriend has just dumped me as she says I am obsessed with chess.

So far I have managed to keep my emotions in check.

Following a sexist joke I made the other day, the Feminist Society now has my address.

Fortunately none of them can read a map!

Published by The Sage Page


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