I’ve got a job organising opera singers within my local region…
I’m the aria manager.
What starts with an “O” and ends with “nions” and sometimes make you cry?
Opinions.
I am writing a book about all the things I should be doing in my life.
It’s an oughtobiography.
It’s really hard to define ‘virtue signalling’, as I was saying the other day to some of my Muslim friends over a fair-trade coffee in our local feminist bookshop.
The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you’re signing somebody’s cast.
I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together.
Riveting!
Life is like a box of chocolates.
It doesn’t last long if you’re fat.
A spa hotel?
It’s like a normal hotel, only in reception there’s a picture of a pebble.
What is the least spoken language in the world?
Sign language.
My girlfriend hates it when I sneak up on her.
Also the police say I should stop referring to her as my girlfriend.
My girlfriend has just dumped me as she says I am obsessed with chess.
So far I have managed to keep my emotions in check.
Following a sexist joke I made the other day, the Feminist Society now has my address.
Fortunately none of them can read a map!
The Sage Page 