Save time cleaning your bathroom by setting off a small, controlled explosion and starting again.
the sage
Bathroom cleaning can involve scrubbing, chemicals, and an uncomfortable awareness of what you’re actually dealing with. The Wise Sage believes this is an inefficient use of both time and dignity.
Instead, take a more decisive approach. By removing the bathroom entirely, you eliminate not only the dirt, but the very concept of cleaning. A carefully judged detonation (or, failing that, aggressive demolition with a hammer while muttering “that’ll do it”) allows you to return the room to a blank canvas — or at least a vaguely alarming hole.
For those seeking a less dramatic method, the Sage recommends turning on all taps, blocking the drains, and allowing nature to conduct a full-scale “rinse cycle” of the entire room. Over time, either the bathroom will be clean, or it will no longer be recognisably a bathroom — both acceptable outcomes.
If questioned, simply say you are “renovating.” This is a remarkably versatile explanation and will prevent most follow-up enquiries.
As always, The Sage accepts no responsibility for structural damage, confused neighbours, or explaining to an insurance company why your sink is now in the garden.
Google-Friendly Excerpt (50–60 words)
Advice of the Day: Cleaning the Bathroom
Today’s Viz Top Tip:
Save time cleaning your bathroom by setting off a small, controlled explosion and starting again.
Bathroom cleaning can involve scrubbing, chemicals, and an uncomfortable awareness of what you’re actually dealing with. The Wise Sage believes this is an inefficient use of both time and dignity.
Instead, take a more decisive approach. By removing the bathroom entirely, you eliminate not only the dirt, but the very concept of cleaning. A carefully judged detonation (or, failing that, aggressive demolition with a hammer while muttering “that’ll do it”) allows you to return the room to a blank canvas — or at least a vaguely alarming hole.
For those seeking a less dramatic method, the Sage recommends turning on all taps, blocking the drains, and allowing nature to conduct a full-scale “rinse cycle” of the entire room. Over time, either the bathroom will be clean, or it will no longer be recognisably a bathroom — both acceptable outcomes.
If questioned, simply say you are “renovating.” This is a remarkably versatile explanation and will prevent most follow-up enquiries.
As always, The Sage accepts no responsibility for structural damage, confused neighbours, or explaining to an insurance company why your sink is now in the garden.
Google-Friendly Excerpt (50–60 words)
The Wise Sage returns with another hilariously reckless “Advice of the Day.” This time he tackles cleaning the bathroom with a completely unusable, nuclear-level solution involving demolition and total reset. In true Viz Top Tips style, this guide is absurd, chaotic, and guaranteed to avoid actual cleaning altogether.
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