My friend was sent to prison last year for excessive burping. He’s finally been let out with a pardon. 2,000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds Saw my ex-girlfriend at the bank today, not good news!! I was hoping she’d wash further downriver. I went for a job interview today. The interviewer said to me, “What wouldContinue reading “Joke of the Day: Tuesday’s taught torniquet of tattered twine …”
Author Archives: The Sage Page
Joke of the Day: Monday’s make-up magnum of manky mascara ….
Whenever I eat eggs benedict it reminds me of the time I lived in the Netherlands… Those were my Holland days… My wife wants to apply for a job as a steamroller driver. I promised her I won’t stand in her way. I gave myself a prostate exam earlier. That’s the last time I buyContinue reading “Joke of the Day: Monday’s make-up magnum of manky mascara ….”
This Day in History: September 10th
Certainly! Here are 10 interesting historical events that took place on September 10th: 1813: During the War of 1812, the United States successfully defended Baltimore Harbor from a British naval bombardment. This event inspired Francis Scott Key to write “The Star-Spangled Banner,” which later became the U.S. national anthem. 1846: Elias Howe received a patentContinue reading “This Day in History: September 10th”
Joke of the Day: Friday’s feeble fountain of freudian fish food ….
Archaeologists in Egypt have discovered a pyramid covered in chocolate and hazelnuts. It’s believed to be the tomb of Pharaoh Rocher. Opened a mars bar once. Discovered martians love gin. I made some jerk chicken today. He didn’t even say thank you. What do you call a chicken in a shell suit? An egg. IContinue reading “Joke of the Day: Friday’s feeble fountain of freudian fish food ….”
This Day in History: September 8th
Here are 10 interesting historical events that took place on September 8th: 1504: Michelangelo’s statue of David was unveiled in Florence, Italy. This iconic masterpiece is considered one of the greatest works of Renaissance sculpture. 1565: A Spanish expedition under the leadership of Pedro Menéndez de Avilés established the first permanent European settlement in whatContinue reading “This Day in History: September 8th”
Advice of the Day: Jigsaw Puzzles
Why pay the earth for expensive jigsaws? Just take a bag of frozen chips from the freezer and try piecing together potatoes. The advice to use frozen chips (french fries) as a substitute for expensive jigsaw puzzles is likely meant as humor or a playful suggestion rather than practical advice. Attempting to piece together frozenContinue reading “Advice of the Day: Jigsaw Puzzles”
Advice of the Day: Nail Clippings
APPLY red nail varnish to your nails before clipping them. The red nails will be much easier to spot on your bathroom carpet. (Unless you have a red carpet, in which case a contrasting varnish should be selected) The advice to apply red nail varnish to your nails before clipping them and mentioning a contrastingContinue reading “Advice of the Day: Nail Clippings”
Joke of the Day: Friday’s fortuitous fable of frankly fictional figures ….
I want to give up being a postman to become a comedian, but my delivery is awful. Someone I know has got a job writing a new dictionary. I’ve asked him to put a word in for me. I got a new job as a chiropodist and found the first day really difficult. I guessContinue reading “Joke of the Day: Friday’s fortuitous fable of frankly fictional figures ….”
This Day in History: August 31st
Here are 10 interesting historical events that took place on August 31st: 1888: Mary Ann Nichols becomes the first known victim of the infamous serial killer Jack the Ripper in London, England. 1895: German Count Ferdinand von Zeppelin patents his navigable balloon, leading to the development of the Zeppelin airship. 1939: World War II beginsContinue reading “This Day in History: August 31st”
Advice of the Day: Home Security
PREVENT burglars stealing everything in the house by moving everything into your bedroom when you go to bed. In the morning, move it all back again. While the idea of moving everything into your bedroom at night and then moving it back in the morning might seem like a creative approach to preventing burglaries, it’sContinue reading “Advice of the Day: Home Security”
