The Sage and the umbrella made from bras

In the woods, where raindrops gently fall,
A wise old Sage strides, standing tall.
Amidst the downpour’s rhythm and beat,
He seeks solace in nature’s retreat.


Beneath an umbrella, crafted with care,
An ingenious creation, light as air,
The Sage finds shelter from the rain’s pour,
Using ladies’ white bras, forevermore.


Each delicate cup, a protective dome,
Shielding him from nature’s watery tome.
With ingenuity, he fashioned a shield,
A whimsical secret, in the woods concealed.


The Sage walks on, with wisdom untold,
Amidst the rain, a story to unfold.
The bras, an unexpected solution,
Reflecting life’s constant evolution.

For in life’s storms, when challenges loom,
Creativity blooms, dispelling gloom.
The Sage, a master of adaptation,
Teaches lessons in true innovation.


With every step, he finds solace and peace,
In the rain’s embrace, his worries release.
Nature’s orchestra plays a soothing refrain,
As The wise old Sage wanders, free from strain.


So let us, like The Sage, learn from this tale,
To think outside the box, when skies grow pale.
Embrace life’s challenges, weather the storms,
And discover brilliance in the simplest forms.

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Advice of the Day: Melons and Lemons

When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.

In general, lemons are more common and abundant than melons. Lemons are widely cultivated and consumed in many parts of the world, particularly in regions with suitable growing conditions. They are commercially grown in large quantities and are readily available in grocery stores and markets throughout the year.

Melons, on the other hand, have a more specific growing season and are typically available during the summer months in many regions. While melons are also widely consumed, their availability and abundance may vary depending on factors such as geographic location and the specific type of melon.

It’s worth noting that the relative abundance of melons and lemons can vary by region and season. In some areas, melons may be more prevalent and abundant during the summer, while lemons remain available year-round. Ultimately, the specific availability of melons and lemons can be influenced by factors such as climate, agricultural practices, and local demand.

According to the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA), the average per capita consumption of lemons in the United States was approximately 6.4 pounds (2.9 kilograms) in 2020.

As for melons, the USDA provides data on overall melon consumption, which includes various types such as watermelon, cantaloupe, honeydew, and others. In 2020, the average per capita consumption of melons in the United States was around 29.2 pounds (13.2 kilograms).

The statement, “When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic,” is a humorous play on words that relies on a pun. The humor lies in the confusion between the words “melons” and “lemons” due to their similar pronunciation.

The phrase “When life gives you lemons” is a common saying that suggests making the best out of difficult or challenging situations. It encourages a positive attitude and resilience in the face of adversity.

In the altered version of the phrase, “melons” is substituted for “lemons.” The humor comes from the unexpected twist caused by the word substitution. By changing “lemons” to “melons,” the statement introduces a play on words and creates a humorous effect. The line implies that if someone receives melons instead of lemons, they might misinterpret the saying due to dyslexia, a condition characterized by difficulties with reading and interpreting words.

Overall, the humor in this phrase relies on wordplay and the unexpected switch of “melons” for “lemons,” resulting in a humorous and unexpected interpretation. However, it’s important to note that humor is subjective, and not everyone may find this particular joke amusing.

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Quote of the Day: Wealth

“He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.”

Epictetus

The quote “He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has” conveys a valuable lesson about cultivating gratitude and contentment. Here are The Sage’s insights that can be gleaned from this quote:

  1. Appreciation for what one has: The quote suggests that wisdom lies in focusing on and appreciating the things that one possesses rather than lamenting over what is lacking. It encourages a mindset of gratitude, acknowledging the abundance and blessings already present in one’s life.
  2. Avoidance of excessive desire and attachment: By not grieving for what one does not have, the quote highlights the importance of avoiding excessive desire and attachment to external possessions or circumstances. It implies that true contentment comes from recognizing that one’s happiness does not solely depend on acquiring more but rather on finding joy in what one already possesses.
  3. Cultivation of inner peace: The quote implies that the wise person finds a sense of tranquility by accepting the limitations of their current situation and focusing on the positive aspects of their life. It suggests that by shifting one’s perspective and rejoicing in what is present, one can cultivate a state of inner peace and contentment.
  4. The power of mindset and attitude: The quote emphasizes that wisdom lies in one’s approach to life and the attitude one adopts. Instead of dwelling on what is lacking, the wise person chooses to adopt a positive mindset, celebrating and finding joy in the abundance and opportunities that exist.

In summary, this quote from Epictetus teaches the importance of gratitude, contentment, and a positive mindset. It encourages individuals to focus on and appreciate what they already have, rather than fixating on what is missing or unattainable. By cultivating a sense of gratitude and rejoicing in the present, one can find greater peace and fulfillment in life.

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This Day in History: July 14th

Here are 10 interesting events that took place on July 14th throughout history:

  1. 1789: The Storming of the Bastille – The French Revolution begins as Parisian revolutionaries storm the Bastille, a medieval fortress and prison, marking a significant event in the overthrow of the French monarchy.
  2. 1798: The Battle of the Pyramids – French forces under the command of Napoleon Bonaparte defeat the Mamluk army in Egypt, solidifying French control over the region.
  3. 1881: Billy the Kid is shot and killed – Notorious American Old West outlaw, Billy the Kid (also known as William H. Bonney), is shot and killed by Sheriff Pat Garrett in Fort Sumner, New Mexico.
  4. 1911: Harry Atwood completes the first flight across the U.S. – American aviator Harry Atwood completes a solo flight from Boston, Massachusetts, to Washington, D.C., becoming the first person to fly coast-to-coast across the United States.
  5. 1933: Wiley Post completes the first solo around-the-world flight – American aviator Wiley Post returns to New York City, completing his solo flight around the world in 7 days, 18 hours, and 49 minutes.
  6. 1965: The Mariner 4 spacecraft flies by Mars – NASA’s Mariner 4 becomes the first spacecraft to successfully fly by Mars, capturing close-up photographs of the planet’s surface.
  7. 1969: The United States $500, $1,000, $5,000, and $10,000 bills are officially withdrawn from circulation – As part of an effort to combat money laundering and other illegal activities, high-denomination banknotes are removed from circulation in the United States.
  8. 2000: A powerful hailstorm hits Sydney, Australia – Large hailstones, some as big as tennis balls, rain down on Sydney, causing extensive damage to buildings, vehicles, and crops.
  9. 2015: NASA’s New Horizons probe reaches Pluto – After a nine-and-a-half-year journey, New Horizons becomes the first spacecraft to conduct a flyby of Pluto, providing unprecedented images and data of the distant dwarf planet.
  10. 2016: A terrorist attack in Nice, France – A truck is driven into a crowd celebrating Bastille Day in Nice, resulting in the deaths of 86 people and injuring hundreds more in a tragic act of terrorism.

Please note that while these events are significant, they may not represent all notable occurrences on July 14th throughout history.

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Joke of the Day: Thursday’s tyrannical tidal wave of tasteless trifle

I once got arrested after covering a lawyer’s luggage in oil.

He dropped the case.

At an airport, my daughter suggested we disguise ourselves as luggage.

I said, “Let’s not get carried away”.

A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day.

She said, “Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?”

I said, “All right, but we won’t get much done.”

A furniture store keeps calling me.

But all I wanted was one night stand.

I’ve decided to start a magazine dedicated to ice cream!

I’ve just had my first scoop!

After a terrible time with Diarrhoea and a long struggle with Hypercholesterolemia ….

I finally won the spelling contest.

What’s a foot long, made of leather, and sounds like a sneeze?

A shoe.

I was telling my doctor earlier how my tennis elbow was really hurting.

She said, “How many years have you had it for?”

I said “15 Love”

My girlfriend said last night she was leaving me this morning because of my obsession with Wham!

I said ‘OK, wake me up before you go go’.

Alison Moyet has allegedly been caught stealing from Starbucks…

She took a whole load of muffin for a hand full of nothing..

Elton John’s E-reader device has been blown away by a tropical storm.

Like a Kindle in the wind.

I can’t see these new sausages that Elvis Costello is launching being any good…

Apparently, though, olive salami is here to stay…

Just seen a bloke who looked like Sting in the red light district in Amsterdam…

He was getting a massage in a brothel.

Bono phoned me the other day to invite me out for dinner in London.

He said ‘I fancy chinese, where do you recommend ?’

I replied ‘Chinatown is good, it’s where the streets have chow mein…’

A guy I know called Paul Young was accused of allegedly shoplifting from the butchers several times in one week.

The butcher said to him ‘every time you go away, you take a piece of meat with you…’

I’ve been banned from our local petrol station for playing ‘The Who’ too loudly on my car stereo…

I won’t get fueled again.

What do you call a spider with 20 eyes?

Spiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiider.

A guy walks into a library and asks for a book on sea turtles.

The librarian asks, “Hard back?”

The guy replies, “Yeah, little heads too.”

I just slipped on the floor of the local library..

I was in the non-friction section.

I worried that my addiction to helter-skelters is spiraling out of control.

A hypnotist convinced me I was a soft, malleable metal with an atomic number of eighty-two.

I’m easily lead.

Pink Panthers to do list:

To do
To do
To do, to do, to do
To do, to doooo

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Advice of the Day: Leapfrog

Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.

The statement “Never play leapfrog with a unicorn” is not intended to be taken literally as practical advice. Instead, it is a whimsical and playful phrase often used in humorous or metaphorical contexts.

Metaphorically, it could be interpreted as a warning to avoid engaging in activities or competitions that are unrealistic, impossible, or outside of the norm. It may suggest that it’s wise to assess the feasibility or practicality of a situation before getting involved. In that sense, it can be seen as a lighthearted way of expressing caution or reminding someone to stay grounded in reality.

However, it’s important to note that the phrase is primarily used for amusement and not as a serious guiding principle. It’s unlikely to provide meaningful advice in most real-life situations. When seeking practical guidance, it’s best to consider more specific and relevant advice based on particular circumstances. For this, always follow The Sage!

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Quote of the Day: Wealth

“Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.”

Epictetus

Epictetus was a Greek Stoic philosopher who lived from around 55 to 135 AD. He was born as a slave in the city of Hierapolis in present-day Turkey and later gained his freedom. Epictetus is best known for his teachings on ethics and philosophy, which were compiled by his student Arrian into a book known as the “Discourses” and the “Enchiridion” (or “Handbook”).

Epictetus emphasized the importance of living in accordance with nature, accepting what is beyond our control, and focusing on developing inner virtue and tranquility. He believed that true happiness and freedom could be achieved by practicing self-discipline, self-examination, and the cultivation of wisdom. Epictetus also emphasized the distinction between what is within our control (our thoughts, beliefs, and actions) and what is not (external events and circumstances).

His teachings greatly influenced later Stoic philosophers and had a lasting impact on Western philosophy. Epictetus’ ideas continue to be studied and admired for their practical wisdom and guidance on leading a virtuous and fulfilling life.

The quote “Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants” expresses a philosophical perspective on the nature of wealth and contentment. It suggests that true wealth is not measured by the abundance of material possessions one possesses, but rather by the absence of excessive desires and needs.

In this context, “great possessions” refer to material wealth, such as money, property, or luxury items. While these possessions may bring temporary pleasure or convenience, the quote argues that genuine wealth lies in having “few wants.” It implies that contentment and satisfaction can be found by cultivating a mindset of sufficiency and moderation, rather than constantly craving more.

The quote emphasizes the idea that an individual’s sense of wealth and fulfillment should not be tied solely to external possessions. Instead, it suggests that by reducing desires and being content with what one already has, one can experience a sense of abundance and inner richness.

Overall, this quote encourages a shift in perspective from an external focus on accumulating possessions to an internal focus on cultivating contentment and simplicity, suggesting that true wealth lies in having fewer material wants and being satisfied with what one already possesses.

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This Day in History: July 13th

Here are 10 interesting events that took place on July 13th throughout history:

  1. 1793: French revolutionary Jean-Paul Marat is assassinated by Charlotte Corday in his bathtub in Paris.
  2. 1863: The New York City draft riots begin, sparked by public opposition to conscription during the American Civil War.
  3. 1923: The Hollywood Sign is officially dedicated in the hills above Hollywood, Los Angeles.
  4. 1977: A massive power outage, known as the New York City blackout of 1977, plunges most of New York City into darkness for 25 hours, resulting in widespread looting and arson.
  5. 1985: The Live Aid concert takes place simultaneously in London, England, and Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, raising funds for famine relief in Ethiopia.
  6. 2008: The government of Japan announces the discovery of a potentially large deposit of rare earth elements in the Pacific Ocean.
  7. 2013: George Zimmerman is acquitted of all charges in the shooting death of Trayvon Martin, sparking nationwide protests and discussions about race and gun laws in the United States.
  8. 2015: The NASA space probe New Horizons performs a flyby of Pluto, providing the first close-up images and scientific data of the dwarf planet.
  9. 2018: Twelve boys from a youth soccer team and their coach are successfully rescued from the flooded Tham Luang Nang Non cave in Thailand, after being trapped for 18 days.
  10. 2019: A widespread power outage affects Argentina, Uruguay, and parts of Paraguay, leaving tens of millions of people without electricity.

These events span a range of historical, cultural, and scientific significance, showcasing the diversity of events that have occurred on July 13th.

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Joke of the Day: Wednesday’s wettest waterfall of woeful wonderment …

Had to chase a cat away from my house the other day in my pyjamas.

No idea how he got into them.

What goes “moo”?

A pig learning a new language.

Out clubbing the other night, and DJ Badger was playing.

Great sett.

Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?

Some friends are debating the best way to make a bacon toastie.

I’m playing Breville’s advocate.

I saw a fir tree with bacon growing from it the other day

Turned out to be a porkypine.

Because it’s so hot today, I’m going to be keeping cool by drinking lots of orange squash.

You are cordially invited to join me…

They say that being a hostage is hard and mentally draining but…

I reckon I could do it with my hands tied behind my back.

A friend of mine thinks the story of how he got an orthopaedic shoe is hilarious but I think he’s built it up too much.

My neighbours are listening to great music.

Whether they like it or not.

I have a really funny joke about our mandatory meeting at work, but whenever I retell it, no one laughs.

I guess you had to be there.

Why did the slave go to college?

So he could pick up his Master’s degree.

My last girlfriend left me for being unnecessarily mysterious…

Or did she?

Our new IT guy has just moved here from Australia.

He comes from a LAN down under.

My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with astrology.

I guess I should have seen the signs..

I like the way the Earth rotates.

It makes my day!

My girlfriend is still mad at me because I accidentally put superglue on her pen a few days ago.

She just can’t seem to let it go.

I’m sure wherever my Dad is, he’s looking down on me.

He’s not dead, just very condescending.

My extra sensitive toothpaste doesn’t like it when I use other toothpastes.

Spent six hours linking all of my watches together to make a belt.

It was a complete waist of time.

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Advice of the Day: Alcohol and Driving

Don’t drink and park – accidents cause people.

The statement you provided, “Don’t drink and park – accidents cause people,” seems to be a play on words or a pun. While it may elicit a humorous response, it doesn’t convey a clear and straightforward message. When it comes to offering advice regarding drinking and driving, it is important to emphasize responsible behavior and the potential dangers involved.

A more appropriate and serious piece of advice would be: “Don’t drink and drive – it’s dangerous and can cause accidents that harm people. Always designate a sober driver or use alternative transportation options if you’ve been drinking.” This advice promotes responsible choices and prioritizes the safety of individuals on the road.

The statement, “Don’t drink and park – accidents cause people,” is a play on words or a pun. It uses clever wordplay to create a humorous effect. Here’s how the humor in the statement works:

  1. Ambiguity: The statement plays with the word “park” by using it in two different contexts. On one hand, “park” can refer to the act of parking a vehicle. On the other hand, it can also be interpreted as a park, a public recreational area.
  2. Unexpected twist: By combining “drink and park,” which suggests the act of consuming alcohol and parking a vehicle, with “accidents cause people,” the statement creates a humorous twist. It subverts the expected outcome of an accident causing harm to objects (such as vehicles) and instead humorously suggests that people are the ones being created as a result.

The humor in this statement relies on unexpected and clever wordplay. However, it’s important to note that humor is subjective, and what one person finds amusing, another might not. Additionally, when it comes to serious topics like drinking and driving, it’s crucial to prioritize safety and responsible behavior.

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