Thought of the Day: Wisdom and Glasses

Wisdom comes with age — so does the inability to find your glasses.

The Sage knows that ageing brings both gifts and irritations. On one hand, you acquire the kind of wisdom that can only come from decades of mistakes. On the other, you lose track of your spectacles every fifteen minutes — often while they’re perched on your own head.

This thought pokes fun at the gap between how we like to see ourselves and the everyday reality of growing older. True wisdom might lie in recognising patterns, solving problems, and passing down lessons… but it also lies in laughing at the absurdity of checking the fridge for your missing glasses.

The Sage insists that humour is the best lens through which to view life’s little indignities. If you can’t find your glasses, perhaps it’s simply the universe’s way of reminding you that wisdom and forgetfulness are lifelong companions.

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Advice of the Day: Key Security

Advice: Avoid losing your house keys by swallowing them every morning and waiting for nature to return them.

The Sage has finally solved the age-old problem of misplacing keys — by putting them somewhere you definitely won’t forget. True, this system comes with certain dietary drawbacks and awkward explanations at the doctor’s office, but you’ll never be locked out again (at least not for long).

Admittedly, this approach raises practical concerns. For instance: how many spare sets can one person comfortably ingest? And what happens when the locksmith asks where you’ve been keeping them? Still, The Sage insists that any method guaranteeing key retrieval — however circuitous — must be considered a success.

Besides, he argues, wisdom is about thinking outside the box… or in this case, inside the digestive tract. Just don’t ask him to jingle his pockets.

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This Day in History — 25 September 1789

Mary Stultz and the Petticoat Theft

Two garments, two years, and the weight of Georgian justice.

👗 The Incident

On 25 September 1789, Mary Stultz was accused of stealing from William (surname lost to time) two ordinary but valuable garments:

  • One flannel petticoat, worth one shilling.
  • One linen shirt, also valued at one shilling.

These were not luxuries but necessities — clothes worn close to the skin, garments that marked dignity and respectability. Their theft cut as deeply into propriety as it did into property.

🏛️ The Trial at the Old Bailey

By 28 October 1789, Stultz stood in the dock at the Old Bailey. The indictment was read in solemn tones:

“Mary Stultz, you stand indicted for feloniously stealing one flannel petticoat and one linen shirt, the goods of William …”

The evidence was sufficient, and her defence, if any, did not sway the jury. In Georgian London, theft of clothing was common — but the law made little allowance for poverty or desperation.

⚖️ The Verdict & Sentence

The jury declared:

Guilty.

The judge pronounced her punishment:

Two years’ imprisonment.

For two stolen garments valued at two shillings, Mary Stultz would spend twenty-four months behind bars — a harsh measure by today’s standards, but a routine outcome in 18th-century justice.

🧠 Why It Matters

  • Value in small things: Petticoats and shirts were costly relative to income — their theft struck at daily survival.
  • Women before the law: Stultz’s case reflects the vulnerability of working women in London, often prosecuted for property crimes born of necessity.
  • Punishment and proportionality: Two years in prison for two garments illustrates the rigidity of a system where mercy was scarce and property paramount.

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Quote of the Day: Holly Moses on Beauty in Chaos

Quote: “Life rarely ties things up with a ribbon — but it does a decent job with tangled string.”
— Holly Moses

Holly Moses has a gift for finding charm in imperfection. This quote reminds us that life is seldom neat, tidy, or packaged the way we expect. Instead, it’s often messy, knotted, and improvised — but that doesn’t make it any less valuable.

Her words suggest that beauty isn’t in perfection but in resilience: the way we make do, mend, and even laugh at the untidy threads we’re given. Tangled string might not be as pretty as ribbon, but it still holds things together — and sometimes, that’s all we need.

The Sage himself would surely approve, having relied on knotted string more than once to keep his robe from betraying him at inopportune moments.

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Thought of the Day: Common Sense Connection

Common sense is like Wi-Fi — everyone assumes they have it until it drops out.

The Sage has long noted that common sense, like modern technology, is often more talked about than reliably present. Just as Wi-Fi bars mysteriously vanish the moment you need them, so too does common sense evaporate precisely when it’s most required — usually during DIY or group projects.

This thought reminds us that while people love to boast about their “strong signal,” reality is a patchy connection at best. One moment the world is full of logic and good judgement; the next, someone’s microwaving soup with the lid still on. The Sage argues that this is proof we all live in areas of low reception.

Of course, true wisdom lies not in mocking these outages but in recognising our own. After all, even The Sage admits his beard once got caught in a toaster — and nothing makes you humble quite like that kind of disconnect.

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Advice of the Day: Crisp Efficiency

Advice: Save time peeling potatoes by only eating crisps.

The Sage recognises that life is full of little chores that seem designed to waste our precious hours. Potato peeling sits right at the top of that list. His solution is disarmingly simple: bypass the peeling, boiling, and mashing altogether, and head straight for the crisp packet.

This approach has many advantages. No more fiddly peelers, no more burnt fingers from hot pans, and no more lumps masquerading as “rustic charm.” Instead, you get instant satisfaction — perfectly sliced, salted, and conveniently available in flavours ranging from ready salted to prawn cocktail.

Of course, there are drawbacks. You may raise eyebrows when serving Christmas dinner with multipacks, and nutritionists may not be entirely convinced. But The Sage insists that wisdom lies in efficiency, and nothing is more efficient than food that’s already peeled, fried, and waiting for you.

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This Day in History — 23 September 1861

James Tate & the Theft of Supper

Bread, pie, pudding — and the law’s heavy hand.

🥖 The Incident

On 23 September 1861, James Tate, aged just 18, stood trial at the Old Bailey. His crime was simple larceny, but the haul was strikingly domestic:

6 lbs. of lamb, 4 lbs. of mutton, 1 dead rabbit, 6 lbs. of cheese, 1 pie, 1 pudding, 1 loaf of bread, and two dishes — all the property of a man named Benjamin Bovil.

This was not highway robbery or banknote forgery, but the theft of a full meal, lifted from a home or larder. In Victorian London, however, even the theft of supper was no small matter.

🏛️ The Trial

The indictment was read in the usual way:

“James Tate, you are indicted for feloniously stealing the goods of Benjamin Bovil, against the peace of our Sovereign Lady the Queen, her crown and dignity.”

Tate did not contest the charge. Instead, he entered a plea of guilty. The courtroom clerks moved quickly; for a youth of 18, the confession sealed his fate.

⚖️ Verdict & Sentence

  • Verdict: Guilty (pleaded guilty)
  • Sentence: Six months’ imprisonment

The punishment was severe enough to mark him, but merciful compared to transportation or the lash. For six months, James Tate would endure the discipline of Victorian prison life — hard labour, strict diet, and the stigma of conviction.

🧠 Why It Matters

  • Theft as survival: The items suggest hunger more than greed — a meal rather than a fortune.
  • Imprisonment as reform: By the 1860s, imprisonment was replacing transportation for lesser offences.
  • Everyday justice: The case shows how ordinary thefts — not just murders and forgeries — filled the Old Bailey docket, reflecting daily struggles in London’s streets and kitchens.

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Quote of the Day: Holly Moses on Beginnings

Quote: “Every sunrise holds its own promise, especially if you’ve just spilled the coffee.”
— Holly Moses

Holly Moses often reflects on the beauty, hope, and small absurdities in life. This quote captures her belief that each morning is a new beginning — even more so when daybreak is accompanied by disaster in a mug. The coffee spill is not ruin, but a reminder that perfection is overrated and surprises are where life happens.

Her philosophy encourages embracing both the promise and the mess: the freshness of a sunrise mingles with the reality of drips and stains. It’s this blend of optimism and realism that gives Holly’s words their heart.

We don’t always get our mornings gracefully. Sometimes we drop the spoon, tip the mug, and swear quietly. But the promise of sunrise — and the chance to begin again — is still there.

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Advice of the Day: Gravy-Proof Wardrobe

Advice: Save on washing powder by only buying clothes that match gravy stains.

The Sage has always been a practical man — at least in theory. His latest tip is aimed squarely at the eternal struggle between laundry and dinner. Why waste time scrubbing stains when you can embrace them as part of your look? A rich brown splatter is no disaster if your entire outfit is already gravy-coloured.

This strategy has the added benefit of freeing up cupboard space. No more separating “good” shirts from “eating” shirts — every garment is both. You’ll glide effortlessly from Sunday roast to boardroom meeting, secure in the knowledge that no one can tell whether that patch is fashion or dinner.

Of course, there are drawbacks. Summer wardrobes may become oppressively beige, and anyone attempting to match Bolognese stains may find themselves trapped in shades of orange for life. Still, The Sage insists that confidence is the best accessory — and nothing says confidence like a gravy-proof wardrobe.

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Thought of the Day: The Toll Booth of Success

The road to success has a toll booth — and I’ve only got coppers.

The Sage knows that success is often spoken of as a “journey,” but he can’t help noticing that the road is rarely free to travel. There are always hidden costs, whether it’s effort, time, or the baffling requirement to wear a tie on Tuesdays.

By comparing ambition to a toll booth, he pokes fun at the little fees life extracts from us along the way. Sometimes you pay in patience, sometimes in sleepless nights, and sometimes in actual loose change that mysteriously vanishes between the sofa cushions.

The Sage’s point is simple: even if you’re short of gold, don’t be afraid to jingle your coppers proudly. After all, progress isn’t always about paying your way in full — sometimes it’s about rattling along and seeing how far those pennies take you.

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