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Quote of the Day: Consent
“Remember no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
Eleanor Roosevelt
Anna Eleanor Roosevelt was the first lady of the United States from 1933 to 1945 but is best remembered for her work championing human rights. This is a difficult quote for most of us because it is easy to agree with the sentiment, but it is difficult to put the concept into practice. This is not just about everybody being equal, it is more about each of us recognising and accepting our own self-worth. Without this acceptance, we are vulnerable to self-criticism which is far more harmful than the criticism of others. Consent to stand tall today!
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Joke of the Day: Supernatural
A wizard asked me to proofread one of his scrolls last week.
Actually, it was more of a spell check.
My house is being haunted by the ghost of a dead chicken.
It’s a poultrygeist.
I’ve just found out my wife is really a ghost.
To be honest, I had my suspicions from the moment she walked through the door…
The Medusa once asked me to do a comedy gig for her victims…
They were a hard crowd.
Disappointed to fail my psychic exam.
Didn’t see that coming.
Got stuck in a queue behind Satan looking for mortgages.
Took ages, for the devil takes many forms.
Went to see a psychic and he was in a bad mood, then I saw a clairvoyant who was rather grumpy…
I’m just trying to find a happy medium?
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Thought of the Day: Weight
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Flower Jokes
Bloom & Giggle: A Floral Bouquet of Jokes to Brighten Your Day
Step into a garden bursting with laughs! Our collection of flower-themed jokes brings petal-powered puns and blooming one-liners to life. From rosy romance to daisy delight, each joke is designed to lift your spirits—no gardening required. Ideal for plant lovers, pun fans, and anyone who appreciates the sunny side of humor!
My wife said to me “I bet you can’t make a pun about a flower?”
But I rose to the challenge…
I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave.
As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin.
3 hours later and they’re still walking about with it.
I thought to myself, they’ve lost the plot!
I was going to catalogue my dried flowers, but I realised I have more pressing problems to deal with.
What do you call Dracula with hayfever?
The pollen count.
My vase of flowers died, but then they came back to life.
It must have been reincarnation.
What do you get if you cross a monkey with a flower?
A chimp-pansy.
What do you call a flower that runs on electricity?
A power plant.
How does a flower get a boat across a lake?
It rose.
What did the detective flower say to the bandit?
Go ahead, make my daisy.
What did the big flower say to the little flower?
You’re my sonflower.
Are you a bouquet?
Because you’re blooming lovely.
Why do flowers drive so fast?
Because they put the petal to the metal.
What happens when you cross a bicycle with a flower?
You get bicycle petals.
Why did the flower stop biking?
It lost its petals.
What did the flower say after telling a joke?
I was just pollen your leg!
Why was the flower being so difficult?
It was feeling thorny.
And there’s more ….
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Thought of the Day: Drawing Boards
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Quote of the Day: Revenge
“The best revenge is not to be like your enemy.”
Marcus Aurelius
Marcus Aurelius Antoninus is perhaps my favourite philosopher, he was the Roman emperor from 161 to 180 and was known as the last of the Five Good Emperors. He is known for his stoic philosophy. This quote is not so much about proportionality or justice, but it says to me “be the better person”. Only by raising the standards in ourselves, do we influence and raise the standards in others.
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Quote of the Day: Lost
“It is an ironic habit of human beings to run faster when they have lost their way.”
Rollo May
Rollo May was an American 20th-century psychologist who played central roles both in developing and popularizing existential psychology. This quote sums up human behaviour well; in that, it is the very times when we need to be still and take stock that we make haste to move away from where are in life. This is when we will often continue to pursue or endeavour to take the wrong direction. We all get lost (metaphorically) in life and it as these times we need to retrace our steps, be circumspect, take advice, and take our time before moving again.
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Bird Jokes
Soar into Laughter: A Flight of Bird Jokes
Take a break and enjoy some feathered fun with our collection of bird jokes. Whether you’re a birdwatcher, a fan of puns, or just in need of a good laugh, these jokes are sure to lift your spirits. From clever one-liners to playful puns, our bird-themed humor is perfect for sharing with friends, family, or fellow bird enthusiasts. So, spread your wings and dive into a world of avian amusement!
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realised that toucan play at that game.
I’ve started using geese heading south for winter to shave small pieces of cheese.
They are migrating birds.
I saw Sinead O’Connor in a birdwatching hide yesterday. I asked her what kind of activity she’d seen…
She replied “It’s been seven owls and fifteen jays….”
Where do birds meet for coffee?
Nest-cafe.
What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
One requires tweetment and the other requires oinkment.
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
I bought a ‘self-assembly’ bird table last week…
I put it in the garden and they haven’t even opened the box yet!
Can anyone remember?
What was the name of the big bird in Sesame Street?
We’ve got a bird of prey that only dances to 80s music at night…
Our kestrel manoeuvres in the dark.
I went to a fancy dress party last weekend dressed as a loaf of bread…
The birds were all over me.
Penguins produce an oil that helps their feathers retain heat.
So the oily bird gets the warm.
I gave my pet bird a haircut, and now he thinks he’s James Bond…
He’s certainly a shorn canary…
I’ve opened up a shop selling uncaged birds.
They are flying off the shelves!
And that’s not all:
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Thought of the Day: Fruit
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