Dinosaur Jokes

Ready to stomp into laughter? Our dinosaur joke collection brings prehistoric puns to life with clever wordplay and witty punchlines. Whether you love a good T‑rex quip or enjoy puns about Triceratops and their fellow giants, this page is packed with jokes that will take you on a dino‑sized adventure. Perfect for kids, families, and everyone who enjoys a little Cretaceous comedy—prepare to roar with laughter!

What do you call an ugly dinosaur?

An Eyesaur.

A friend asked me which writer had the best dinosaur stories.

I suggested he try Sarah Topps.

Local museum has a new dinosaur exhibit.

Don’t know if it will be popular.

Remains to be seen.

What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.

Why did archaeopteryx catch the worm?

It was an early bird.

How do you ask a dinosaur if he wants a break?

Tea, Rex?

Why didn’t the dinosaur cross the road?

He hadn’t evolved into a chicken yet.

Thought I’d found a dinosaur skeleton but it turned out to be a fossil arm.

What dinosaur makes most noise when he is a sleep?

Tyrannosnorus

What sort of dinosaur never gives up?

A try-try-triceratops

What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?  

Jurassic Pork.

The thesaurus was the first dinosaur to become extinct, defunct, superseded, disappeared, exterminated, gone, deceased…

And there’s more ….

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Thought of the Day: Mysteries

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Quote of the Day: Hope

“Hope lies in dreams, in imagination, and in the courage of those who dare to make dreams into reality.”

Jonas Salk

Jonas Salk was a 20th Century American virologist who developed one of the first successful polio vaccines, this discovery saved millions of lives. I love this quote. Dream BiG. And then act BIG and never give up on your dreams. Who knows, your dreams may change the world for the better.

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Thought of the Day: Bagpipes

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Joke of the Day: Names

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Quote of the Day: Liberty

“Man is born free, but is everywhere in chains”

Jean-Jacques Rousseau

A famous quote on liberty from the 18th Century that still rings true today. Rousseau postulates that our governments and states imprison us with laws, however, I believe that western states, for the most part, protect us from anarchy. What do you think?

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Thought of the Day: Fish

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Joke of the Day: Hairdressers

I asked the hairdresser if she ever gave a henna rinse.

She said “No, but I once gave a duck a bath”

I just witnessed a fight between an auctioneer and a hairdresser…

They were going at it hammer and tongs…

My teenage daughter can’t decide whether she wants to be a hairdresser or a short story writer.

I guess she’ll have to flip a coin.

Heads or tales.

I like watching football matches when I’m at the hairdressers.

The coverage is the same but the highlights are better.

I saw an advert saying “Hairpieces from £5”.

I thought, “That’s a small price toupee”.

How does the man in the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it.

I used to not like my hair.

Then it grew on me.

Just after a friend went bald, he inherited a comb.

He said he will never part with it.

Another bald chap I know never uses keys now.

He’s lost his locks.

A man goes to see his barber to get his hair cut.

The barber says “You’re going grey, sir”.

The man says “I’m not surprised, hurry up, would you…”

A few years ago, I asked the girl in the pet grooming shop out to dinner.

She couldn’t make it though, she was washing her hare.

Been invited to a hair washing party.

I’ve no excuse not to go.

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Quote of the Day: Achievement

“The greater the difficulty, the more glory in surmounting it”

Epicurus

This quote is all about the joy of achieving. Epicurus was a 4th-century bce philosopher from Athens and is best known for his theories of hedonism and pleasure. Glory can be defined as “high renown or honour won by notable achievements” and to me, this would come with feelings of satisfaction and pleasure. So I guess if we have difficulties and obstacles ahead of us, we can focus on the pleasure of overcoming them.

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Thought of the Day: Dogs

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