Is it possible to keep tropical ferns in an unheated greenhouse? Asking for a frond. I made a pair of gloves from an old Barrister’s robes… Now I’ve got a law-suit on my hands! My dad’s sister works in a Paris bakery and hates it. She’s a cross aunt… I know an awful lot aboutContinue reading “Joke of the Day: Monday’s menagerie of misquotes …”
Tag Archives: joke of the day
Joke of the Day: Monday’s medley of mockeries
Halfway through my Indian meal the waiter came up to me and asked; “Curry OK?” I said, “Maybe, what songs do you have?” When does a joke become a dad joke? When it’s fully groan… My Dad always used to tell people “laughter is the best medicine…” Lovely bloke, terrible pharmacist… My wife said “YouContinue reading “Joke of the Day: Monday’s medley of mockeries”
Joke of the Day: Thursday’s torrent of testaments ….
Went on an online video call and a picture of a can of spam appeared on my screen. Think it was a zoom meat tin. I trained some fish to escape. A koi, B koi and C koi all got away because everyone chased the D koi. Was out cycling and someone told me thatContinue reading “Joke of the Day: Thursday’s torrent of testaments ….”
Joke of the Day: Thursday’s trolley of tripe ….
Ham and Eggs – A day’s work for a chicken; a lifetime commitment for a pig. I renewed my car insurance over the phone today, and as I was about to hang up the woman on the other end asked if I had a pet. I said, “Yes, I’ve got a dog.” She asked, “WouldContinue reading “Joke of the Day: Thursday’s trolley of tripe ….”
Joke of the Day: Monday’s magnum of mischief …
To the person who stole my BBQ rotisserie last night… What goes around comes around… Gloria Gaynor invited six people round for dinner but one didn’t turn up. “That’s OK,” she told her guests, “I will serve five…”. At first, my wife hated the revolving chair I bought, but then she sat on it… Eventually,Continue reading “Joke of the Day: Monday’s magnum of mischief …”
Joke of the Day: Sunday’s suitcase of sprightly shenanigans
I’ve got a friend who is an electrician and a part-time detective… We call him Sherlock Ohms. My neighbour said she would lend me her waterproof canvas sheets for my camping holiday this Bank Holiday weekend. Ta Pauline. Someone told me to try horse manure on my rhubarb. I have to say, I still preferContinue reading “Joke of the Day: Sunday’s suitcase of sprightly shenanigans”
Joke of the Day: Tha Sage’s Saturday swamp of sardonic satire.
My brother got stung by a bee on the forehead. He’s at the ER now, his face all swollen and bruised; he almost died. Luckily I was close enough to hit the bee with my shovel. I once went to a really awkward party in an igloo… When I tried to break the ice itContinue reading “Joke of the Day: Tha Sage’s Saturday swamp of sardonic satire.”
Joke of the Day: Wednesday’s wagon of wisecracks …
I’ve got a new joke about an umbrella but I think it might go over people’s heads… I’m looking to hire a Chef who is very frugal with herbs. No thyme wasters please… I Googled the phrase “missing medieval servant”. It came back with “Page not found”. I got a book titled ‘A Guide toContinue reading “Joke of the Day: Wednesday’s wagon of wisecracks …”
Joke of the Day: Tuesday’s tirade of trifles …
Opened a tin of paint and found model figures of King Arthur, Lancelot, and Sir Galahad floating in it. The knights in white satin. I’m appearing in a film being made about Greggs the Bakers. I’ll be playing a small roll. I thought it would be easy to balance a bucket of Tippex on myContinue reading “Joke of the Day: Tuesday’s tirade of trifles …”
Joke of the Day: Friday’s freight of festivities …
Went for a check-up and asked the Doctor, “Do you think I’ll live a long and healthy life?” He replied, “I’m not sure, Mercury is in Uranus right now.” I said, “I don’t believe in any of that astrology nonsense!” He replied, “Neither do I. My thermometer just broke.” I once went for a jobContinue reading “Joke of the Day: Friday’s freight of festivities …”
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