Joke of the Day: Monday’s pungent packet of puns

If you say the word ‘gullible’ very, very, VERY slowly. It sounds like orange. Was driving down the motorway yesterday in a hearse. Police pulled me over for undertaking. I spent ages trying to cross a busy road… A passer-by said, “There’s a pelican crossing up the road”. I replied “I hope he’s having betterContinue reading “Joke of the Day: Monday’s pungent packet of puns”

Advice of the Day: Circumspection

Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you. You should never corner something that you know is meaner than you because it will likely react aggressively to defend itself. When an animal or a person feels trapped and threatened, they may lash out and attack as a form of self-preservation. This canContinue reading “Advice of the Day: Circumspection”

Joke of the Day: Friday’s flagon of funny stuff

Highlighter pens are going to be a real problem one day, mark my words… People thought that Tina Turner had moved into my spare room last weekend but she was simply the guest… Call it a hunch, but I’m pretty sure I have an abnormal convex curvature of the upper spine. What do you callContinue reading “Joke of the Day: Friday’s flagon of funny stuff”

Joke of the Day: Thursday’s wagon of witticisms

Just started a new employment blowing the whistle at the end of football matches… It’s a full-time job. What do you call a paper airplane that can’t fly? Stationery. Got really emotional this morning at the petrol station, don’t know why, just started filling up. Robin: The batmobile won’t start. Batman: Check the battery. Robin:Continue reading “Joke of the Day: Thursday’s wagon of witticisms”