This Day in History: July 14th

Here are 10 interesting events that took place on July 14th throughout history:

  1. 1789: The Storming of the Bastille – The French Revolution begins as Parisian revolutionaries storm the Bastille, a medieval fortress and prison, marking a significant event in the overthrow of the French monarchy.
  2. 1798: The Battle of the Pyramids – French forces under the command of Napoleon Bonaparte defeat the Mamluk army in Egypt, solidifying French control over the region.
  3. 1881: Billy the Kid is shot and killed – Notorious American Old West outlaw, Billy the Kid (also known as William H. Bonney), is shot and killed by Sheriff Pat Garrett in Fort Sumner, New Mexico.
  4. 1911: Harry Atwood completes the first flight across the U.S. – American aviator Harry Atwood completes a solo flight from Boston, Massachusetts, to Washington, D.C., becoming the first person to fly coast-to-coast across the United States.
  5. 1933: Wiley Post completes the first solo around-the-world flight – American aviator Wiley Post returns to New York City, completing his solo flight around the world in 7 days, 18 hours, and 49 minutes.
  6. 1965: The Mariner 4 spacecraft flies by Mars – NASA’s Mariner 4 becomes the first spacecraft to successfully fly by Mars, capturing close-up photographs of the planet’s surface.
  7. 1969: The United States $500, $1,000, $5,000, and $10,000 bills are officially withdrawn from circulation – As part of an effort to combat money laundering and other illegal activities, high-denomination banknotes are removed from circulation in the United States.
  8. 2000: A powerful hailstorm hits Sydney, Australia – Large hailstones, some as big as tennis balls, rain down on Sydney, causing extensive damage to buildings, vehicles, and crops.
  9. 2015: NASA’s New Horizons probe reaches Pluto – After a nine-and-a-half-year journey, New Horizons becomes the first spacecraft to conduct a flyby of Pluto, providing unprecedented images and data of the distant dwarf planet.
  10. 2016: A terrorist attack in Nice, France – A truck is driven into a crowd celebrating Bastille Day in Nice, resulting in the deaths of 86 people and injuring hundreds more in a tragic act of terrorism.

Please note that while these events are significant, they may not represent all notable occurrences on July 14th throughout history.

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Joke of the Day: Thursday’s tyrannical tidal wave of tasteless trifle

I once got arrested after covering a lawyer’s luggage in oil.

He dropped the case.

At an airport, my daughter suggested we disguise ourselves as luggage.

I said, “Let’s not get carried away”.

A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day.

She said, “Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?”

I said, “All right, but we won’t get much done.”

A furniture store keeps calling me.

But all I wanted was one night stand.

I’ve decided to start a magazine dedicated to ice cream!

I’ve just had my first scoop!

After a terrible time with Diarrhoea and a long struggle with Hypercholesterolemia ….

I finally won the spelling contest.

What’s a foot long, made of leather, and sounds like a sneeze?

A shoe.

I was telling my doctor earlier how my tennis elbow was really hurting.

She said, “How many years have you had it for?”

I said “15 Love”

My girlfriend said last night she was leaving me this morning because of my obsession with Wham!

I said ‘OK, wake me up before you go go’.

Alison Moyet has allegedly been caught stealing from Starbucks…

She took a whole load of muffin for a hand full of nothing..

Elton John’s E-reader device has been blown away by a tropical storm.

Like a Kindle in the wind.

I can’t see these new sausages that Elvis Costello is launching being any good…

Apparently, though, olive salami is here to stay…

Just seen a bloke who looked like Sting in the red light district in Amsterdam…

He was getting a massage in a brothel.

Bono phoned me the other day to invite me out for dinner in London.

He said ‘I fancy chinese, where do you recommend ?’

I replied ‘Chinatown is good, it’s where the streets have chow mein…’

A guy I know called Paul Young was accused of allegedly shoplifting from the butchers several times in one week.

The butcher said to him ‘every time you go away, you take a piece of meat with you…’

I’ve been banned from our local petrol station for playing ‘The Who’ too loudly on my car stereo…

I won’t get fueled again.

What do you call a spider with 20 eyes?

Spiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiider.

A guy walks into a library and asks for a book on sea turtles.

The librarian asks, “Hard back?”

The guy replies, “Yeah, little heads too.”

I just slipped on the floor of the local library..

I was in the non-friction section.

I worried that my addiction to helter-skelters is spiraling out of control.

A hypnotist convinced me I was a soft, malleable metal with an atomic number of eighty-two.

I’m easily lead.

Pink Panthers to do list:

To do
To do
To do, to do, to do
To do, to doooo

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Advice of the Day: Leapfrog

Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.

The statement “Never play leapfrog with a unicorn” is not intended to be taken literally as practical advice. Instead, it is a whimsical and playful phrase often used in humorous or metaphorical contexts.

Metaphorically, it could be interpreted as a warning to avoid engaging in activities or competitions that are unrealistic, impossible, or outside of the norm. It may suggest that it’s wise to assess the feasibility or practicality of a situation before getting involved. In that sense, it can be seen as a lighthearted way of expressing caution or reminding someone to stay grounded in reality.

However, it’s important to note that the phrase is primarily used for amusement and not as a serious guiding principle. It’s unlikely to provide meaningful advice in most real-life situations. When seeking practical guidance, it’s best to consider more specific and relevant advice based on particular circumstances. For this, always follow The Sage!

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Quote of the Day: Wealth

“Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.”

Epictetus

Epictetus was a Greek Stoic philosopher who lived from around 55 to 135 AD. He was born as a slave in the city of Hierapolis in present-day Turkey and later gained his freedom. Epictetus is best known for his teachings on ethics and philosophy, which were compiled by his student Arrian into a book known as the “Discourses” and the “Enchiridion” (or “Handbook”).

Epictetus emphasized the importance of living in accordance with nature, accepting what is beyond our control, and focusing on developing inner virtue and tranquility. He believed that true happiness and freedom could be achieved by practicing self-discipline, self-examination, and the cultivation of wisdom. Epictetus also emphasized the distinction between what is within our control (our thoughts, beliefs, and actions) and what is not (external events and circumstances).

His teachings greatly influenced later Stoic philosophers and had a lasting impact on Western philosophy. Epictetus’ ideas continue to be studied and admired for their practical wisdom and guidance on leading a virtuous and fulfilling life.

The quote “Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants” expresses a philosophical perspective on the nature of wealth and contentment. It suggests that true wealth is not measured by the abundance of material possessions one possesses, but rather by the absence of excessive desires and needs.

In this context, “great possessions” refer to material wealth, such as money, property, or luxury items. While these possessions may bring temporary pleasure or convenience, the quote argues that genuine wealth lies in having “few wants.” It implies that contentment and satisfaction can be found by cultivating a mindset of sufficiency and moderation, rather than constantly craving more.

The quote emphasizes the idea that an individual’s sense of wealth and fulfillment should not be tied solely to external possessions. Instead, it suggests that by reducing desires and being content with what one already has, one can experience a sense of abundance and inner richness.

Overall, this quote encourages a shift in perspective from an external focus on accumulating possessions to an internal focus on cultivating contentment and simplicity, suggesting that true wealth lies in having fewer material wants and being satisfied with what one already possesses.

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This Day in History: July 13th

Here are 10 interesting events that took place on July 13th throughout history:

  1. 1793: French revolutionary Jean-Paul Marat is assassinated by Charlotte Corday in his bathtub in Paris.
  2. 1863: The New York City draft riots begin, sparked by public opposition to conscription during the American Civil War.
  3. 1923: The Hollywood Sign is officially dedicated in the hills above Hollywood, Los Angeles.
  4. 1977: A massive power outage, known as the New York City blackout of 1977, plunges most of New York City into darkness for 25 hours, resulting in widespread looting and arson.
  5. 1985: The Live Aid concert takes place simultaneously in London, England, and Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, raising funds for famine relief in Ethiopia.
  6. 2008: The government of Japan announces the discovery of a potentially large deposit of rare earth elements in the Pacific Ocean.
  7. 2013: George Zimmerman is acquitted of all charges in the shooting death of Trayvon Martin, sparking nationwide protests and discussions about race and gun laws in the United States.
  8. 2015: The NASA space probe New Horizons performs a flyby of Pluto, providing the first close-up images and scientific data of the dwarf planet.
  9. 2018: Twelve boys from a youth soccer team and their coach are successfully rescued from the flooded Tham Luang Nang Non cave in Thailand, after being trapped for 18 days.
  10. 2019: A widespread power outage affects Argentina, Uruguay, and parts of Paraguay, leaving tens of millions of people without electricity.

These events span a range of historical, cultural, and scientific significance, showcasing the diversity of events that have occurred on July 13th.

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Joke of the Day: Wednesday’s wettest waterfall of woeful wonderment …

Had to chase a cat away from my house the other day in my pyjamas.

No idea how he got into them.

What goes “moo”?

A pig learning a new language.

Out clubbing the other night, and DJ Badger was playing.

Great sett.

Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?

Some friends are debating the best way to make a bacon toastie.

I’m playing Breville’s advocate.

I saw a fir tree with bacon growing from it the other day

Turned out to be a porkypine.

Because it’s so hot today, I’m going to be keeping cool by drinking lots of orange squash.

You are cordially invited to join me…

They say that being a hostage is hard and mentally draining but…

I reckon I could do it with my hands tied behind my back.

A friend of mine thinks the story of how he got an orthopaedic shoe is hilarious but I think he’s built it up too much.

My neighbours are listening to great music.

Whether they like it or not.

I have a really funny joke about our mandatory meeting at work, but whenever I retell it, no one laughs.

I guess you had to be there.

Why did the slave go to college?

So he could pick up his Master’s degree.

My last girlfriend left me for being unnecessarily mysterious…

Or did she?

Our new IT guy has just moved here from Australia.

He comes from a LAN down under.

My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with astrology.

I guess I should have seen the signs..

I like the way the Earth rotates.

It makes my day!

My girlfriend is still mad at me because I accidentally put superglue on her pen a few days ago.

She just can’t seem to let it go.

I’m sure wherever my Dad is, he’s looking down on me.

He’s not dead, just very condescending.

My extra sensitive toothpaste doesn’t like it when I use other toothpastes.

Spent six hours linking all of my watches together to make a belt.

It was a complete waist of time.

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Advice of the Day: Alcohol and Driving

Don’t drink and park – accidents cause people.

The statement you provided, “Don’t drink and park – accidents cause people,” seems to be a play on words or a pun. While it may elicit a humorous response, it doesn’t convey a clear and straightforward message. When it comes to offering advice regarding drinking and driving, it is important to emphasize responsible behavior and the potential dangers involved.

A more appropriate and serious piece of advice would be: “Don’t drink and drive – it’s dangerous and can cause accidents that harm people. Always designate a sober driver or use alternative transportation options if you’ve been drinking.” This advice promotes responsible choices and prioritizes the safety of individuals on the road.

The statement, “Don’t drink and park – accidents cause people,” is a play on words or a pun. It uses clever wordplay to create a humorous effect. Here’s how the humor in the statement works:

  1. Ambiguity: The statement plays with the word “park” by using it in two different contexts. On one hand, “park” can refer to the act of parking a vehicle. On the other hand, it can also be interpreted as a park, a public recreational area.
  2. Unexpected twist: By combining “drink and park,” which suggests the act of consuming alcohol and parking a vehicle, with “accidents cause people,” the statement creates a humorous twist. It subverts the expected outcome of an accident causing harm to objects (such as vehicles) and instead humorously suggests that people are the ones being created as a result.

The humor in this statement relies on unexpected and clever wordplay. However, it’s important to note that humor is subjective, and what one person finds amusing, another might not. Additionally, when it comes to serious topics like drinking and driving, it’s crucial to prioritize safety and responsible behavior.

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This Day in History: July 12th

here are 10 interesting events that took place on July 12th throughout history:

  • 70 CE: The armies of Titus attack the walls of Jerusalem after a six-month siege. Three days later they breach the walls, which enables the army to destroy the Second Temple.
  • 927 CE: King Constantine II of Scotland, King Hywel Dda of Deheubarth, Ealdred of Bamburgh and King Owain of the Cumbrians accepted the overlordship of King Æthelstan of England, leading to seven years of peace in the north.
  • 1191 CE: Third Crusade: Saladin’s garrison surrenders to Philip Augustus, ending the two-year siege of Acre.
  • 1470 CE: The Ottomans capture Euboea.
  • 1488 CE: Joseon Dynasty official Choe Bu returned to Korea after months of shipwrecked travel in China.
  • 1493 CE: Hartmann Schedel’s Nuremberg Chronicle, one of the best-documented early printed books, is published.
  • 1527 CE: Lê Cung Hoàng ceded the throne to Mạc Đăng Dung, ending the Lê dynasty in Vietnam.
  • 1674 CE: Treaty of Friendship is signed between the Dutch Republic and the Kingdom of Siam.
  • 1679 CE: Habeas Corpus Act is ratified in England.
  • 1790 CE: French Revolution: The National Constituent Assembly votes to abolish feudalism in France.

I hope you find these events interesting!

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Joke of the Day: Tuesday’s cascading carnival of curdled custard

My local music festival has an inflatable ATM.

The screen says “Please don’t enter your PIN”.

It turns out that the ATM at the theatre offers a service where I can buy tickets for an Elvis tribute show.

I had to press one for the money, two for the show…

A local bank is opening an ATM built into a tree.

If it’s successful, they might expand to other branches.

I’ve been driving Novak Djokovic safely back to his hotel every night after matches.

I know how to return a Serb…

I used my Donor Card instead of my Credit Card to order some stuff online.

It cost me an arm and a leg…

Is it fair to say that there’d be less litter in Britain if blind people were given pointed sticks?

One of my friends is a really stubborn hardcore raver.

She keeps trying to make me rave with her!

She won’t techno for an answer.

I said to my wife, “I need to call the doctor today.”

She said, “Which doctor?”

I said, “No, the regular kind.”

95% of people are idiots.

I’m glad I’m in the other 15%.

I bought a book on eBay called “How to scam idiots on eBay”

That was 3 months ago, and it’s still not arrived yet!

Nine months isn’t really that long.

It only feels like a maternity.

The first time I had sex it was in my parent’s bedroom.

My girlfriend said, “This is a bit awkward.”

I said, “Just ignore them.”

Guy who owned Odeon cinemas has died.

His funeral is on Monday @ 2:10, 4:20 & 8:40

My Grandfather invented the cold air balloon.

It never really took off…

I told the nurse I was bitten by a wolf.

“Where?” she asked.

“No. Regular.” I replied.

If your dog is running a fever, go to the store and buy some mustard.

It’s the best thing for a hot dog.

If you don’t know what to talk about on a first date, try mentioning Global Warming.

It’s a huge Icebreaker

These events represent a range of historical, cultural, and scientific milestones that occurred on July 4th and have had significant impacts in various fields.

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Quote of the Day: Control and Fate

“Make the best use of what is in your power, and take the rest as it happens.“

Epictetus

Epictetus was a Greek Stoic philosopher who lived from around 55-135 AD. He was born as a slave in Hierapolis, Phrygia (now modern-day Turkey) and later gained his freedom. Despite his humble origins, Epictetus became one of the most influential Stoic philosophers of his time.

Epictetus did not write any philosophical texts himself, but his teachings were preserved through the writings of his student, Arrian, in a work called the “Discourses” and a shorter handbook known as the “Enchiridion” or “Manual.” These works provide valuable insights into Epictetus’ philosophical teachings and ideas.

Epictetus’ philosophy focused on living a virtuous life and attaining inner tranquility. He emphasized the importance of understanding and accepting what is within our control and what is not. He taught that external circumstances are beyond our control, but our judgments, choices, and reactions to those circumstances are within our power. Epictetus believed that true freedom and happiness can be achieved by aligning our thoughts and actions with reason and living in accordance with nature.

His teachings had a profound impact on subsequent philosophical and ethical thought, influencing Stoicism and other schools of philosophy. Epictetus’ ideas continue to be studied and appreciated by many today for their practical wisdom and guidance in leading a meaningful and fulfilling life.

The quote, “Make the best use of what is in your power, and take the rest as it happens,” is attributed to the Stoic philosopher Epictetus. This quote encapsulates one of the central principles of Stoic philosophy and provides guidance on how to approach life and navigate external circumstances.

The quote can be understood as follows:

  1. Focus on What is in Your Power: Epictetus encourages individuals to direct their attention and efforts towards what is within their control. This includes their thoughts, judgments, choices, and actions. By focusing on what is within our power, we can have a significant influence on our own lives.
  2. Make the Best Use: Epictetus advises us to make the most of the things that are within our control. Instead of being preoccupied with trying to control external events or outcomes, we should concentrate on our own thoughts, attitudes, and behaviors. By cultivating virtuous qualities, practicing reason and moral principles, and making wise choices, we can strive to live a fulfilling and virtuous life.
  3. Accept What Happens: Epictetus suggests that we should accept and adapt to the things that are beyond our control. External events, other people’s actions, and circumstances are often outside our sphere of influence. Instead of resisting or being distressed by what we cannot change, Epictetus encourages us to accept them with equanimity and resilience.

By following this philosophy, Epictetus believes that individuals can achieve a state of inner tranquility, free from unnecessary anxiety or frustration caused by trying to control what is ultimately beyond their power. The quote promotes a practical and realistic approach to life, focusing on personal agency, wisdom, and the acceptance of external events as they unfold.

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