The Sage reveals his latest time-saving tip: stop watering your plants and start teaching them independence. With a blend of nonsense and botanical optimism, he claims your houseplants can learn to crawl to the sink. Equal parts absurd, eco-friendly, and faintly alarming — classic Sage logic.
Tag Archives: funny advice
The Wise Sage Gives His Advice of the Day:
The Sage shares his latest pearl of anti-adventurous wisdom: avoid getting lost by never going anywhere new. A masterclass in staying put and calling it mindfulness, this advice perfectly captures his philosophy of doing less, thinking more, and never needing Google Maps again.
The Wise Sage Gives His Advice of the Day: “Save money on petrol — by only driving downhill!”
The Sage reveals his latest penny-pinching plan: save petrol by only driving downhill! Ingeniously impractical yet oddly persuasive, his wisdom reminds us that gravity costs nothing — until the brakes fail. Classic Sage logic: half philosophy, half catastrophe, and entirely freewheeling nonsense.
The Wise Sage Gives His Advice of the Day: “Save on electricity — by sleeping during daylight hours!”
The Sage offers another brilliantly unhelpful tip: save electricity by sleeping through the day! In his quest for thrift and enlightenment, he suggests embracing nocturnal life to avoid daytime bills, neighbours, and responsibility alike. Enlightening, foolish, and entirely impractical — another gem of wisdom from The Sage.
Advice of the Day: Sock Security Simplified
The Sage returns with another uselessly brilliant idea: “Tired of losing socks? Sleep in the washing machine.” A fresh load of absurdist advice from Dorset’s most domestic philosopher — blending humour, wisdom, and mild detergent to help you keep life spotless, if not entirely sa
Advice of the Day: The Unfiltered Reply Strategy
AI-generated messages are everywhere. The Sage recommends writing your reply by hand, then translating it digitally with emojis. It’s absurd—and surprisingly authentic.
Advice of the Day: The Generous Tip
Aldi’s wage rise got you thinking? Sage says: start tipping £5—and charge £10. A whimsical twist on generosity and capitalism—perfect for the moment, lightly absurd, and very tweetable.
Advice of the Day: The Reel‑Ready Reaction
In the age of Reels and Shorts, the Sage recommends preparing for your close-up. Next time someone says, “Can you hear me?”, tap record and strike a pose. You may never post it—but your swagger will thank you.
Advice of the Day: The AI Voice Scam Countermove
With AI voice scams on the rise, the Sage suggests an unconventional trick: answer with a duck quack. If they don’t pause or hang up, congrats—you’ve just exposed a faker.
Advice of the Day: Plant-Based Paranoia
Today’s advice from The Sage is perfect for the overly imaginative: if your houseplants are gossiping about you, confuse them by rotating their positions weekly. Amusingly impractical, beautifully unhelpful.
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