Today’s Quote of the Day from fictional philosopher Anne Teak: “When one door closes, another opens — usually because someone forgot the heating’s on.” A witty twist on a classic proverb, reminding us that life’s turning points may have less to do with fate and more to do with draughts.
Tag Archives: the Sage Page
Quote of the Day: Anne Teak on Perspective
Today’s Quote of the Day from fictional philosopher Anne Teak: “Some see the glass half full, others half empty — I just wonder who’s been drinking out of my glass.” A witty twist on perspective that turns a tired proverb into a laugh-out-loud moment of practical wisdom.
Thought of the Day: Practised Procrastination
Today’s Thought of the Day from The Sage: “If practice makes perfect, then I must be perfect at procrastinating.” A playful reminder that procrastination, while frowned upon, is really just dedication to another kind of mastery — one perfected through years of careful avoidance.
Advice of the Day: The Free Workout
Today’s Advice of the Day from The Sage: “Save money on gym memberships by running late for everything.” This hilariously impractical fitness plan replaces treadmills with tardiness, proving that true cardio training can be achieved through sheer panic, missed buses, and the fear of disappointing everyone.
Advice of the Day: Ticket-Free Travel
Today’s Advice of the Day from The Sage: “Avoid parking tickets by only driving on footpaths.” A ludicrously impractical tip that turns every pavement into a free car park, proving once again that Sage wisdom is better at raising eyebrows than solving actual problems.
Advice of the Day: Sprinkler Savings
Today’s Advice of the Day from The Sage: “Save water by showering in the neighbour’s garden sprinkler.” A delightfully impractical tip that cuts water bills while raising eyebrows, proving once again that true wisdom is sometimes best enjoyed with soap suds and soggy roses.
Advice of the Day: Sock Security
Today’s Advice of the Day from The Sage: “Stop losing socks by tattooing them onto your feet.” A delightfully impractical solution to the age-old mystery of disappearing socks, this whimsical tip guarantees matching pairs forever — though it may raise eyebrows at the tattoo parlour.
Advice of the Day: Lego Security
Today’s Advice of the Day from The Sage: “Keep burglars away by filling your house with Lego bricks.” This brilliantly impractical security tip turns childhood toys into a formidable defence system, proving once again that wisdom sometimes comes with sharp corners — and sore feet.
Advice of the Day: Bagpipe Brilliance
Today’s Advice of the Day from The Sage: “Always win debates by carrying a set of bagpipes.” This surreal suggestion proves that persuasion needn’t rely on logic — sometimes all it takes is volume, persistence, and the haunting wail of the world’s most persuasive instrument.
Advice of the Day: Lawn Barber
Today’s Advice of the Day from The Sage: “Save money on haircuts by standing near a lawnmower.” This absurdly thrifty tip suggests trading the barber’s chair for the garden shed, with results ranging from avant-garde to downright terrifying. A perfect example of wisdom trimmed with whimsy.
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