Just started a new employment blowing the whistle at the end of football matches… It’s a full-time job. What do you call a paper airplane that can’t fly? Stationery. Got really emotional this morning at the petrol station, don’t know why, just started filling up. Robin: The batmobile won’t start. Batman: Check the battery. Robin:Continue reading “Joke of the Day: Thursday’s wagon of witticisms”
Tag Archives: Humour
Joke of the Day: Tuesday’s trunk of tomfoolery
I’ve been diagnosed with a rare type of amnesia where I deny the existence of certain 80s bands. There is no cure. Why don’t French people ever get two or more Easter eggs? Because one egg is always un œuf. I got some new aftershave today that smells like breadcrumbs. The birds love it! Apparently,Continue reading “Joke of the Day: Tuesday’s trunk of tomfoolery”
Joke of the Day: History
Need to find out the cost of buying one of those Elizabethan circular neck garments for a fancy dress party. Can anyone give me a ruff estimate? What do you call your average ancient Greek? Mediocrates. 100 years ago everyone had a horse and only the rich had cars. Nowadays everyone has a car andContinue reading “Joke of the Day: History”
Joke of the Day: Hands
Why shouldn’t you shake hands with Tigger? Because he plays with Pooh. My Mum’s sister keeps taking the law into her own hands… She’s a vigilauntie. I recently went to a seance hosted by Neil Diamond… Hands, touching hands, reaching out… 6.30 is the best time on a clock. Hands down. I’m glad I knowContinue reading “Joke of the Day: Hands”
Joke of the Day: Secrets
For the past 20 years, I’ve had a Valentine’s card from a secret admirer. I was sad I didn’t get one this year! First, my gran dies, and now this! I’ve been banned from the Secret Cooking Society… I kept spilling the beans. What was the Soviet Union’s most secretive insect? The Cagey Bee. I’mContinue reading “Joke of the Day: Secrets”
Joke of the Day: Dead Funny
Where are dead computer hackers buried? In decrypt. I saw an ad for burial plots and thought to myself this is the last thing I need. At weddings, old people always poke me and say you’ll be next! It’s so annoying!… so.. I’ve started doing the same to them at funerals. I was at aContinue reading “Joke of the Day: Dead Funny”
Quote of the Day: Vegetables
My mate just passed his NVQ in vegetarianism. He’s quiche stage one. I was once abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, blow my nose, clean my room, and eat my vegetables… Turns out I was on the mothership. My local greengrocer has won a contract to supply root vegetables to the SouthContinue reading “Quote of the Day: Vegetables”
Joke of the Day: Garden
In order to make a relationship work you have to make a lot of sacrifices…. Which is why I keep a large number of goats in my garden. My mate dug a hole in the garden and filled it with water…. I think he meant well. As I suspected, someone has been adding soil toContinue reading “Joke of the Day: Garden”
Writing Jokes
Welcome to Writer’s Wit, your go-to place for the funniest jokes about the trials and tribulations of writing! Whether you’re a novelist, journalist, blogger, or simply someone who enjoys the written word, we’ve got the perfect jokes to tickle your funny bone. From the quirks of grammar to the woes of writer’s block, our collection celebrates the humor in every writer’s journey. Dive in and enjoy a good laugh as you relate to the comical side of crafting prose and poetry!
Joke of the Day: Friends
Just changed my Facebook name to ‘benefits’ so when you add me it says ‘You are now friends with benefits’. A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realised that toucan play at that game. An inventor shows his friend the first knife ever. His friend says, “Wow! That’sContinue reading “Joke of the Day: Friends”
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