If a pig loses its voice, does it become disgruntled? With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. Police raided Kermit’s lily pad and found 100s of nude pictures of Miss Piggy. They said it was the worst case of frogs porn ever seen. A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet. I’m goingContinue reading “Joke of the Day: Pigs”
Category Archives: Humour
Joke of the Day: Science
Me: “Excuse me, are these ‘genetically modified’ carrots?” Grocer: “No, why do you ask?” Carrot: “Yeah, why do you ask?”. I collected a lot of data trying to disprove observation bias. The results were exactly as I expected. Why was the chemist arrested? He threw sodium chloride at his girlfriend. That’s a salt. Last nightContinue reading “Joke of the Day: Science”
Joke of the Day: Fish
Brighten your day with our ocean‑full of fish jokes! Featuring fin‑spired one‑liners and aquatic wordplay—from puns about scales to punchlines about schools—this fun collection appeals to fish lovers and pun enthusiasts alike.
Joke of the Day: Numbers
If the number 666 is considered evil… Is 25.8069758 the root of all evil? At an interview.. First question: “Describe yourself in 3 words”, Me: “Not very good with numbers” Last night a hypnotist convinced me I was a soft, malleable metal with an atomic number of 82. I’m easily lead. Did you hear aboutContinue reading “Joke of the Day: Numbers”
Joke of the Day: Toilet Paper
During the recent toilet paper shortage, I had to resort to using a calendar to wipe with… I’m glad those days are behind me now. In our house, we always fight over the right way round to hang the toilet paper, so my therapist suggested we try the other person’s way for a week. YouContinue reading “Joke of the Day: Toilet Paper”
Joke of the Day: The Ocean
How deep would the ocean be without sponges? I spent the morning down at the beach feeding cannabis-laced brownies to the seabirds. No tern was left unstoned. She sells sea shells by the sea shore… Surely that’s the worst possible place to try and sell shells?! Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because ifContinue reading “Joke of the Day: The Ocean”
Joke of the Day: Name the Man
Thank you for reading my writings. If you’d like to, you can buy me a coffee for just £1 and I will think of you while writing my next post! Just hit the link below…. (thanks in advance)
Joke of the Day: Pets
Bought a new muzzle for my pet duck the other day. Nothing fancy, but it fits the bill. My pet snake has just got a job with the Inland Revenue. He’s a Civil Serpent. The RSPCA have said I can’t keep my pet dolphin in the bath. Apparently, it’s not fit for porpoise. My friendContinue reading “Joke of the Day: Pets”
Halloween Jokes
Why don’t ghosts like parties? They have nobody to dance with… A local farmer thought his chicken coop was haunted. He had to call the eggsocist. I think the ghost in the chicken coop was a poultrygheist. A local chap failed to pay the exorcist and ended up getting repossessed. I threw a ghostly boomerangContinue reading “Halloween Jokes”
Joke of the Day: Dinosaurs (Again!)
What did the one-eyed dinosaur say to his dog? Doyouthinkhesaurus, Rex? Thank you for reading my writings. If you’d like to, you can buy me a coffee for just £1 and I will think of you while writing my next post! Just hit the link below…. (thanks in advance)
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